Enmeshmet?
I'm pretty sure my family is enmeshed and I am in the grip of this situation. I am constantly anxious about my family's feelings and wondering how I can make them all happy or calm them down if they're upset. Even if I go out, I'm worrying about my parents and sisters being alone the whole time. I also can't disagree with them about anything without feeling horrible and needing to "fix" it. I know that's silly and that it's normal to have different opinions on some things, but I can't help feeling really distressed.
I came across the term enmeshment and have been reading up on it because it seemed to fit my situation. But everything I can find is just a description, not a solution. And whenever someone proposes a way forward, it's always "set boundaries", but I really can't. Not only do I find it impossible to even bring up boundaries, but if I did do it, I might cause an argument amongst family members. And I still have to live with them at the moment, so having them all fight would be ***
I know there is no solution to this, but it helps a bit to vent
@rhodawoolf awww gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ some situations seem impossible😞 my heart goes out to you. I hope you find a way out. For now just take time to do self care, cause you are important and your opinions and feelings are also important. Just a safe place to vent can really help I agree. Gives you another giant tiny hug ❤❤❤ we are all here for you ❤
Thank you so much 🙏 Your support and kind words really mean a lot
@rhodawoolf
It is hard to break free and most articles etc do not provide a solution because there are so many different situations and one size NEVER fits all....
First you are aware of this ..that would be step one... so many are in similar shoes but do not see it for what it is...
Second once you see it and maybe start to understand your unique situation you can make better decisions on how to deal with it...
Thank you. Yes, you're right! Since I started researching enmeshment I at least got some clarity about my situation. It's still painful, but whenevwr I get a moment of peace and distance, I can at least understand what's happening and try my best to challenge what I now recognise as specific thought patterns
Just an update and second vent (tw enmeshment, controlling family members)
I recognise that identifying the problem is a good step towards healing. But reading on enmeshment has also led me to a lot of articles about the importance of boundaries and it's pretty frustrating to realise that I just can't set them. I want to heal and be able to experience peace and calm. But it seems at this moment that I won't be able to achieve that because the way forward appears blocked.
I know I need therapy for this issue, but I can't afford it right now. I'll work towards improving my financial situation, but even that is very difficult because of my family dynamics, where they don't want me to be outside for long and are against me finding a full time job