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Change starts with you

Sparkify1990 February 15th, 2023

Today is the 15th of February. I realised that sitting and complaining about my life and how miserable it is, is getting me no where, so its time for change. I need to break out of the mindset of telling myself how miserable life is and start doing what I want to achieve greatness. I wanna trade and make money, I wanna go to gym and get fit, I wanna study and push myself further. I wanna go out and have fun, I wanna bring out the version of me, that exists in my mind. The version of me that can do better and be happy.

I need help though, I need advice, I need motivation, I need help to break out this mindset and breathe in new life. The moment I start to think about doing something new or different, I feel held back, I loose interest, I procrastinate, I pull out the book on every excuse not to do something.

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innateJoy9602 February 15th, 2023

@Sparkify1990

It takes a lot of courage to recognize and acknowledge that. Breaking out of old mindsets and creating new habits can be challenging, but it's definitely possible! It seems you have a clear vision of what you want, so I feel that is already a lovely start. <3πŸ’œ

1 reply
Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

@innateJoy9602 - It is really hard. I dont have a Girlfriend or family or friends that I can go to for advice. I had to sit on my bed and ask myself, what am I really doing? Where do I really want to be in life? And how am I going to get there? 3 questions I have complete control over. before I'd moan and groan and ask myself questions I didn't have answers to, and not having an answer also contributed to me feeling this way. I'm going to hold my chin up and do my best.

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SweetPea321 February 15th, 2023

Sparky, you got this! Small attainable daily goals can lead us down the right path. I have artritis in my knee and I just got done using my Cubii (peddler machine) for 20 minutes and I'm going to do that everyday. Then I plan on walking the mall with the elders. I am going to get fit and quit pop! Today is February 15th and I'm starting anew.

Life is good πŸ™‚

2 replies
Sparkify1990 OP February 16th, 2023

@SweetPea321 - I am sorry to hear that you have Arthritis. Both my parents have Arthritis in their hands and I know its painful. I am glad to hear that you are pushing through it. I would always say, "If you want something, you fight for it until you get it, You never give up" Walking is a great form of exercise. I go for walks every afternoons and it makes me feel great.

1 reply
SweetPea321 February 17th, 2023

Thanks Sparky πŸ™‚ You are kind.

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toughTiger6481 February 17th, 2023

@Sparkify1990

It is so true wish more people saw that .........

Some people seem to always wait for something to happen instead of making the change themselves ........ what i use for motivation is my harshest critic .... ME ....

i could rationalize why i skipped a workout or did not try the new thing to a friend or partner .........i just have never mastered the lie to my self mode ....

compassionateBalloon6666 February 17th, 2023

@Sparkify1990

> I wanna study and push myself further

would you "push" another human being? Probably not because thats being hostile. Its never OK to be hostile to yourself even if your goals are noble. My advice is to be your best friend and that starts with kindness and compassion. You can't just become a superhero and smash through difficult, self disciplined tasks. it takes time to change, so do it slowly.

1 reply
Sparkify1990 OP February 17th, 2023

@compassionateBalloon6666 - be your best friend.. Treat yourself how you would treat your friend. I like that. Thank you....

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Kyuun February 17th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 I have been down in the deepest darkest places in the past, I'm still not where I want to be by a long shot, but I have come to a realisation recently.

Everything is a choice, the thoughts going through your head telling you things you don't want to hear, putting you down, are just that, thoughts.

Your thoughts are not you, they don't define you, you are in charge, you are the boss. Everything is a choice, if you feel depressed, you make the choice to ruminate automatically. The much more difficult choice is to not engage. Realise you feel down, don't engage, realise it will pass, and choose not to suffer.

I'm making this sound like it's easy to do this, it really isn't, but if you put in the effort with mindfulness and meditation. And always remember you have the choice to be acting, thinking, doing things the way you want to, you will get there.

I wish you all the best.

3 replies
Sparkify1990 OP February 17th, 2023

@Kyuun - Thank you so much for your words. It isnt easy, I know, I have been trying to make the change for a while, but I always find a excise to "Do things tomorrow", but not anymore. I also realised that paying attention to what I can control, and realising what you CAN and CAN NOT control makes the difference. All along, I was trying to change things that I didn't really control or have th4 answers to yet, but now, the moment I think of something that brings me down, I stop thinking about that, and focus on what I can control. This is the first weekend, that I am not feeling overwhelmed, and i feel so different....

2 replies
jennysunrise8 February 18th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 a lot of times procrastinating is not putting anything off temporarily but just avoiding its just your mind inventing an acceptable excuse to not do something new (uncomfortable because its not what your used to) here are some resources to help deal with procrastination a free workbook and worksheets > procrastination

1 reply
Sparkify1990 OP February 18th, 2023

@jennysunrise8 - Thank you Jenny. I will definitely give this a good read. You are right, my mind has been making up "acceptable" excuses to put off simple things that are not in my comfort zone. I need to break out of this comfort zone..

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SunShineAlwaysGrateful February 18th, 2023

I love that you have goals and a vision. 😊 You are correct you are in control of things like that. Ever consider small steps to achieve your goals making them SMART goals? (Be Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time frame too.). Don’t get too overwhelmed small steps I agree ☝️ what others have said.


What motivates you? Some people like to keep track of mini goals or journaling or seeing results even … which works for you?


i am glad I saw this post I understand my January for weight loss was a trail run lol πŸ˜‚ the 2023 is a whole year … next time next year you will be glad of your choices now.


i will cheer you onπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

1 reply
Sparkify1990 OP February 18th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful - Next year this time, I hope I am in a better space, I hope I achieve at least some of the goals I will be setting out, and weight loss is one of my goals too, but for some reason, I cant seems to go to gym. I always come up with a reason not to go lol.

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Tinywhisper11 February 18th, 2023

@Sparkify1990 hi I'm lola ❀ I'm 22 years old and I live in a care home. Cause I'm severely disabled. I don't have any family or friends. And I'd never actually been outside cause I was to scared of people.But then a week or so ago, as soon as it for dark I actually left the carehome grounds. What I saw was magic. It was much different than I had imagined. But after I did it I wanted to do it again and again. ❀ I think it's just getting over the first hurdle, and if you push yourself just a little bit. You will gain confidence and be able to take on the world ❀ good luck

1 reply
Sparkify1990 OP February 18th, 2023

Hey @Tinywhisper11 - Nice to meet you, and your story inspires me. I realised that I have been stuck like that, because its easier to sit and do nothing. I dont wanna sit and do nothing any longer, I wanna do me, and show people who I am.


Thank you for sharing your story with me....(a Million Hugs)

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