Anyone else feel this way?
I found out last night my brother in law is having a baby! All I feel is sad, because I desperately want that, but it's not in the cards for me. Overall I'm ok with this, but this news just punched me right in the gut and I don't know what to do. Will this grief ever go away? Will I always feel sad when I see other people having kids? I keep trying to focus on the positives in my life, things that I am able to do/enjoy because I am kid free. My relationship with my husband has honestly never been better. So why can't I stop crying over this?
Grief like this doesn’t always follow a clear path, and it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, even when you try to focus on the positives. It’s okay to feel sadness and longing, even if there are other parts of your life that are going well. You’re processing something deeply personal and it’s perfectly natural to grieve that loss, even if you’re at peace with your situation overall.
@CheeryMango very true, the green eye monster in everyone of us & it's completely normal to feel that way, give yourself time to process things & don't blame yourself too much
You are right, it's not great to compare your relationship to your brother-in-law's because you are different people with different priorities.
Maybe you are kid-free right now because you are enjoying life right now with your loving husband and you fear the added responsibility of taking care of a child will shift your way of life really badly.
Right now I'd say if you and your husband are in the right state (you're fully happy with each other and you both see each other as very responsible while also being financially and emotionally equipped for parenthood) then having a baby is not impossible but you shouldn't rush it because your close family are having kids.
Likewise, I also believe if you are enjoying life at the moment then consider having kids later whenever you decide it's the RIGHT time to have kids when you reach the state I mentioned, and you finally decide to settle down.
They may have taken years or months to come to the decision which you may have not noticed. Parenthood is not something to rush, enjoy life then when you're ready to have a child have one. If you don't plan on having children enjoy life regardless. The decision is yours to make and you have time to make it or change it.
-SunnyLake
