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Am I the Bad friend?

lovingGrapefruit2611 March 18th, 2023

Is it wrong of me to not feel happy about my friend's happiness? It's not like I'm jealous or something, it's just I'm going through so much rn in my own life, that I'm barely breathing and surviving while a childhood friend of mine is forcing up her happy stuff on me.. of course to her I'm behaving as if I'm as excited as her but in reality, i didn't feel anything. I'm like 'k, cool. Good for you.' from the inside. and it's like a big deal for her so she wants a happy reaction from me, i guess.. i mean, I'm not imposing my issues on her or telling her that I'm in a very bad state rn because i mostly am, yea i don't have a gala life, i live in what they call the dark side of the world. but when she told me the happy news (which actually is a big deal to be happening for either of us), i don't feel happy or as a matter of fact, anything.

Does that make me a bad friend?

2
hopefulPond6108 March 18th, 2023

@lovingGrapefruit2611 Hi. You’re not a bad friend! I’m sorry that you’re going through a tough time right now. You’re not required to feel happy to be a good friend. Sometimes we have a mountain of stuff to deal with emotionally and it’s hard to break through that and show up for others, so we fake it. You’re actually doing a stellar job at being a friend because you’re showing up in spite of the mountain.


There is a practice in mindfulness meditation called mudita. It’s about taking joy in others happiness. I don’t think it is about “forcing” joy, but instead, finding joy where it might otherwise be had to come by. Mindfulness meditation and its practices can help us deal with our own struggles better and make it easier to show up for others as well. All the best to you.


1 reply
lovingGrapefruit2611 OP March 18th, 2023

@hopefulPond6108 Hi. Thanks for replying. I guess, I really needed to hear that.

Also, thank you for bringing mindfulness meditation to my attention. I for sure will give it a try.

Cheerios!

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