Adulthood angst
So I am a 21-year-old girl, officially 3 years into adulthood, but for me everything feels depressing and haywire. I am unemployed- and am still struggling to get a job, which seems kind of hard right now. I don't know how to drive, and feel afraid to practice owing to my constant fear of road accidents ( actually my father met with a road accident in 2009 and it injured his brain so he still suffers from memory loss, and I don't want to experience a similar fate). Another disturbing aspect is my love life. The prospect of marriage fills me with dread. It's because, for years I have been deeply and madly in love with a boy who does not feel the same about me, and my constant thought is, " If not him then whom? What will I do without him?". Honestly, it's a draining thought.
I also am averse to having kids. I mean, I cannot even take care of myself, why bring another being in this horrible world? I feel deeply sad to think of middle and old age- grey hair, wrinkles, health issues, existential crisis and so on. Honestly, I wish I were a child again. Those were the real halcyon days.
I am mostly battling the blues as an adult. I don't know what to do, where to go, how to lead a normal life and adapt to these normal stressors like other people. I feel so dull and fatigued the whole day. Please guide me, if possible.
Hey there, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this, but I’m glad you reached out. Life in your twenties can feel overwhelming, especially with so many things happening all at once—career, relationships, personal fears, and so on. It’s okay to feel lost and uncertain. You’re not alone in this, and your feelings are valid.
First, it’s important to remember that everyone moves through life at their own pace. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. The pressure to be “normal” or to have everything under control can make things feel even worse. But it’s okay to be unsure about your job, your love life, or even your future. These are all things that can change and evolve over time.
As for the job situation, keep going, even if it feels exhausting. It’s a tough market, but persistence does pay off. Try to look at it as a process rather than a race. Small steps like learning new skills or networking might help open doors. Don’t be too hard on yourself—you will find something that clicks when the time is right.
Regarding driving, it’s completely understandable to be afraid, especially with what happened to your father. You don’t have to rush yourself. If you feel ready, maybe start with small, low-pressure practice sessions with someone you trust. It can also be helpful to talk to a therapist about your fear to get more support in working through it.
I hear you on love and relationships—it’s so painful when feelings aren’t reciprocated. But try to remember that you deserve someone who feels the same way about you. The right person will come along when the time is right. Right now, it might be good to focus on yourself and heal, giving yourself the love and care that you need, so you’re ready for what lies ahead.
As for kids, that’s a really personal choice, and there’s no right or wrong answer. It’s okay to not want children, and it’s great that you’re thinking deeply about your future. The beauty of adulthood is that you get to make these decisions based on what truly feels right for you. Focus on your own journey and what makes you happy.
Lastly, it’s totally normal to feel sad about growing older and all the changes that come with it. But remember, aging doesn’t mean losing the joy in life. Each phase brings new experiences and opportunities for growth. And it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers yet.
Try to be kind to yourself. Take things one step at a time. You’re still figuring it out, and that’s perfectly okay. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out. You’re doing great, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Take care of yourself.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@brightaday thank you so much. Your words are truly empathetic and soothing. Thank you.
