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Acceptance from others.

blissfulSky8162 September 17th, 2023
I've realized something lately. My life depends on other people's acceptance and feelings. I've never once lived for myself nor have I done anything for myself.

My friend never talks to me unless she needs something. She thinks I avoid her if i don't talk to her for a day. She never made an effort to be a friend of mine. It's always me. It hit me when I realized ilI had to keep sending her something or else I'd lose her and when she went to visit a dear friend of hers miles away but does not come to visit me when I'm just a floor above her.

It feels weird when you realize that you've just been wanting other people's approval to feel like you are a part of earth.

Why though? Why do you feel that way? Why can't you feel yourself? Why can't you do what you like? Why do you feel bad when someone does not give you the response you expect?

1. One reason is being belittled always or being compared to others as a kid.
When you get compared to others', you just feel like you're doing something wrong. You feel like you're wrong and the other person is doing right. You just cannot accept the fact that whatever you did is okay.

2. Low self confidence- When you think you're bad at something and you aren't doing it right and you're not worth it, you'll definitely look for others acceptance. It's sad when you get hit by low self confidence because each one of us are unique. We all have our pros and cons. I'm an extremely bad dancer. A very bad orator and a very shy person. But at the same time, I'm a good artist, a sportsperson and a good listener. We all have our differences, it does not make us worthy of unpleasant comments.

3. Bullying- It's the same as getting belittled where you just want acceptance from others to feel like you're you.

I just want every one to know that you're perfect the way you are.
That does not mean you can act rude or hurt someone and blame it on your uniqueness. A little bit competition is totally alright but completely forgetting yourself and acting like someone else does not make you, yourself. You're clearly you. You're born unique. Different. Just like the rest of us. Never fall for others criticisms or opinions because you're not a toy to get thrown around and get used by. You're YOU.
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Sunisshiningandsoareyou September 19th, 2023

@blissfulSky8162

And what's the first step towards bringing about a change, Ara? Realising the gaps? Acknowledging the need for it? Accepting that you deserve better and you'll have to work on it yourself to provide it to yourself? Yes?❤

I'm incredibly proud of you for acknowledging the realizations you've made, and certainly not easy to have realizations, for it hurts not knowing what more could you do to be more accepted?!

The friend that made you feel like you do not matter, is a hooman just like everyone else, no higher entity or anything saintly, and similarly every one else who majorly missed getting to know such a beautiful person as yourself.

You gave them the power to dictate your worth, you can take it back and you should. It's easier said than done but just because someone doesn't feel or think the same way, it doesn't mean we are any less worthy, than them or anyone else. ❤

We're all equally valid and worthy, and this includes *you* too, there couldn't have been another Ara in the world with the same beautiful mindset and kind intentions, there couldn't have been the same thoughtful, compassionate and caring individual as yourself who loves with the intensity you do, who cares how you do, who shows up like you do. There couldn't have been another hooman same as yourself who has battled through their own challenges yet persevered to hold strong and remind others to do too in the same way as you do, every single time you show up, you're being yourself, you're adding something unique to the world, which no one else can ever do because they aren't *you*, and won't ever be.

You are accepted and loved as you are, valid and worthy exactly as you feel, right in this very moment!

You are the Ara to the Universe we share, and it couldn't, shouldn't and will never be the same any other way! ❤

4 replies
blissfulSky8162 OP September 20th, 2023

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

I just don't know what to say Sun, I'm speechless. This is a beautiful message which echoes through my mind again and again. It's just everything. Thank you so much for helping me realize certain matters. You deserve everything ❤️

1 reply
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Themaninblackxxx September 22nd, 2023

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

but you can better yourself

If you are weak then you can go to the gym and get strong

Saying you are perfect as you are, is not true. It only encourages people to suffer from things they have the ability to change

Yes, you can say people should be this way or that way but that is completely futile. The world won't change to be the way you want it to be. It's up to you to make the most of the world as it is. Maybe you can change it in someway

1 reply
Sunisshiningandsoareyou September 22nd, 2023

@Themaninblackxxx

Thank you for your reply, I greatly agree with you but I feel somethings were missed here, so would like to reiterate them:

1. Never used the word "perfect" nor the idea of it here. Because I think like you too, and do not encourage the idea of perfectionism either.

2. Validating someone's *now* isn't saying there's no room for improvement for them, what's said above was~ "no random person who makes you question your self-worth is worthy enough to tell you whether you're worthy or not, because you are *you* and you matter and are worthy of being a part of the world without them/ their opinion of you".

3. I don't think the post was about someone's "room for improvement" though; still, I feel there's a difference in between constructive criticism~ wanting to see someone improve and become better at something they are doing/ in general, to become a better version of themself, usually all with good intentions And just being critical of how someone *is* with no good intentions, putting someone else down because of your own insecurities and unrealistic expectations. The latter being something totally unacceptable and intolerable, for me!

~ I like to accept people and make them feel worthy how/ who they are in the here and now, without comparing them to how they were in the past or putting them on a pedestal of what they could become in the future.

I feel, we can ofcourse want the best for someone and there's room for improvement for everyone, in different aspects of life, agreed, but it still does *not* give any one the right to tell them they aren't accepted *currently* or that they'll have to be a certain way or do a certain thing to become more worthy or be more of a significant part of the world.

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