Looking for a brutally honest and extremely talkative long term listner
I think I'm a real mixed bag of issues.So I guess this is some forewarning so I don't feel guilty and rejected ;and a listener doesn't feel obligated and overwhelmed.
I know a listeners main focus is to help the member with their problem-but a lot of them don't have solutions so I'm not really expecting that.
but I also don't want to just be 'listened' to- my conversation skills are beyond bad,If left without instruction
I won't vent and feel better about my problem
ill ramble to fill the silence about literally anything other than my problem
like please stop me or talk to me
im on here because I'm lonely
(It also might be annoying that I make jokes about everything,idk dude coping mechanisms)
i overthink everything , and doubt myself a lot- I don't really want someone to be super nice in these moments
like advice and opinions are beyond welcome, even if I can't use it
i want someone to be honest with me, especially about boundaries ,because to an extent I'm clearly looking for something of a friend
And taking advantage of someone's kindness is a fear
opening up is a slowish process on a lot of days
so just talking till I get there is helpful,havin a rapport makes me less self conscious
in summary :
i have poor communication/conversation skills,so if you're talkative and bluntly honest,patient that'd help (humours a big plus) (i want to be better at that though)
Main issues I have are family & relationships,handling responsibility/feeling overwhelmed , motivation for the future/getting unstuck and self esteem
Er read my bio for even more info - and I hope to hear from you soon 🌻
@Sulk
you can message me if you'd like ! I'd be happy to talk to you
@Sulk
Well, I have say, I for one appreciate your honesty and for being very clear about your needs and how you want them to be met. 
I think this is the start to any good relationship. It looks like you already have a couple of offers on the table and I would take these listeners up on it. I guess there can be your "Goldilocks Listener" around here if you finally find them (just like the story of the three little bears.......this one is just right). That's great, but it's also good, even if you find them to keep reaching out to all kinds of different listeners. I think everyone has their own style, listeners as well as members. And reaching out to many is seen as very healthy around here 
I could certainly try to have a chat with you. I would be more than happy to. I cannot give advice as it is strictly forbidden on this site. But what I do have as an option is to brain storm with you, toss around ideas, maybe some suggestions by asking you if this or that has worked for you in the past or not. See what it is that you would like to do moving forward and be there for you to see the outcome and how it worked for you. But I am a true team player and I see it as 2 people working together, but ultimately the power resides in you, and so where you lead, I will follow. People come here on this site and have had their power taken away from them for a myriad of different reasons. I let you be the boss and I sit back and watch you take your power back!
I understand boundaries and at times, I can be seen as a formal listener (only for the purposes of structure) and setting healthy time limits for the duration of a chat. This is in your best interest as well as mine because I adore my members and take them all very seriously. I can talk about boundaries and even show you them in action.
I am a very fast responder and will fill up space if you are in at a loss for words. I see it as your 45 minutes with me to do as you wish. I will set aside that time and you will have my undivided attention with no distractions. If you were looking for someone with a sense of humor, well you found them! I see it as relationship building and of course once people get to know one another, the dialogue does become easier in my opinion. It can be hard for listeners to be overly funny with someone because the member is at a disadvantage. You don't see facial cues, body posture, or hear the tone of voice so a listener needs to be most careful as to not be misunderstood. But I am a true believer in what is called "know your audience" lol
I don't see any of your needs as in chat topics being a problem for anyone. I think the best way to "eat an elephant is one bite at a time" Maybe take a spin around the block with all of the offers on the table. Feel free to start slow and discuss one issue at a time for each chat session or for the first chat session, just have fun and talk about interests and everyone gets a chance to warm up to one another. I imagine it could also be seen as your interview process to find the best listener for you. I have it listed on my profile page that I am not taking member chats at this time, but for you, since you have reached out in this way, I will make a special consideration. I think you have been so incredibly honest and forthcoming, it is the least I can do! If a listener does'nt "do it for you" it's okay to say thanks and then move along to the next.
big *hugs* I'm excited for you and your journey here on 7 cups!
@SparkyGizmo
Aw thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply,it means a lot to me you wrote this.
Reaching out isn't easy for me, and someone acknowledging your honesty as a good thing, well it feels really good❤️
My social battery is kinda a low thing, but I wanna be better, and wanna talk to anyone that wants to talk to me
I dunno if I'm lookin for goldilocks but I do want someone I can talk to ,so I guess maybe
I do love your description of yourself as a listener and your suggestions
I really appreciate how detailed it is
If the offers still open I'd love to take you up on it (like fr it's so kind of you to even respond let alone make an exception
But if your schedules changed I completely get it, and just wanna thank you for your heartwarming response and well wishes ❤️
@Sulk
Sure! This sounds great! I would love nothing more than to chat with you my friend! I think it was quite brilliant of you to put out a forum post, get the "flavor" of someone that responds to you, and decide if you felt this was someone (me) you would like to engage with!
I see it as nothing lost and nothing gained if I'm not the right fit for you. It's okay to give yourself the chance and give a listener a chance also. Trust, no one ever deposited the "truth scrolls" with me and I know I'm not special and I know I'm not great. But what I do know is that I try, really hard and that I really care! My members know that I really care about them. I care and try so very much, that when I show up here, I leave any semblance of an ego I might have far far away from me. I put that silly thing in a box and duct tape that sucker tightly shut so there is no way I can even get to it. Shove it to the farthest side of the room I'm in! There is no room in my humble opinion for a listener to have an ego need when signed onto this site. We really should come here with the spirit of service to others. If I need that ego just that bad, I'm free to pick it back up after I've logged off for the day.
I check in midway through my chats with all of my members and I ask "how am I doing as your listener today"? If I'm not doing so well and not the right fit, I move quickly and do my best to teach and encourage my member how best to utilize the "browse listener page" in hopes that they could find the right listener for them. As long as someone is helping you, I'm happy! But, the boundaries thing.......I have also reserved the right to say to a member "I'm feeling as if I'm not the right fit for you today" if I'm sensing this early on. And still offer to help educate them on what I think might be tips and tricks to find the right fit for them. It's because I truly do care that much! We all deserve to be heard and listened to here on this site!
I'll try to send a pm to you in just a moment and if for some reason, the pm doesn't reach your "in box" feel free to pm me as well and that way we can work together and see how both of our schedules are looking to come together and chat!
*high fives* on creating this forum post, *high fives* on your honesty, *high fives* on expressing your needs and *high fives* on having expectations that they be met! and of course, the Gizzie always says big *hugs*
i sometimes fell like the listener i am texting is not actually understanding me or they are there just there for the name sake , add the point that when you get a new listener , you have to tell your past all over again !! it is really frustrating sometimes !!
Doesn
Brutally honest is going to be hard to find as this kind of personality is not welcome on here 😅 I think most people wont risk being reported😅
You might have a better chance on Reddit or discord for that. Though those sites are more toxic...
But Im sure if you hit up enough people, youll come across someone good.
@sympatheticKitten8138 I lucked up with my listener. Definitely brutally honest. Great at leading me where I need to go. He's not always available due to his own life, but otherwise pretty awesome.
If you fine teh listener you desribed, let me know.
@suzanne1979
ooh lucky you! You must be having some very fruitful conversations. I
@sympatheticKitten8138
yee I think peeps wouldn't have the patients for me on those sites😅, and yeah I'm sorta getting that on here, but it's okay I guess it can work as more of a disclaimer till I find one👌😌
Eventually you
Aaah I'm so sorry for the late replies , I started spiralling not long after I wrote that-and I guess I really wasn't expecting responses
I'm glad, truly ,pleasantly surprised.
Aaah I'm so sorry for the late replies , I started spiralling not long after I wrote that-and I guess I really wasn't expecting responses
I'm glad, truly ,pleasantly surprised.
@Sulk
Brutal honesty can be good, but do try and go easy on yourself sometimes! I am glad that you are searching for what you think will work out for you! I find it interesting sometimes how we all need different things. I am too brutally honest with myself so I look for someone compassionate and empathic to talk with. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find what you are looking for!
