I'd love to feel free to let it all out. Looking for someone nonjudgemental.
I've tried to request a listener and no one has been available. Actually, that's not true.. someone replied once. One reply, so we didn't talk. I really need someone who mainly is nonjudgemental. I have bipolar disorder and so I have done some pretty awful things, but it would be nice to get them off my chest for once. I'm always too afraid to talk about my problems... I'm actually a really good listener!! Haha. (I'm not a 'listener' on 7 cups, for the record.) Most of my life I have just pushed every problem I've ever had under the rug and covered it up with the happiest looking life I could imagine. People actually tell me I'm the happiest person they know. I would laugh on the inside, but I'm mostly too depressed to feel anything anyways. My autopilot is amazing. I think a big problem I have is acutally getting things out. It feels like I never have anything to say, but then kick myself for not saying anything because I WANT HELP!!!! Then this happens.. I feel like my problems aren't a big deal and there are so many people that have it worse than myself, like I am not worthy. I've also tried to erase this message too many times, like I always do, but none of you know me, so I'm posting it anyways. Theres another thing.. apparently I'm ridiculously afraid of what people think about me.
hey take a look at my profile and all my reviews im sure id be great to talk to ... ive been through hell so theres no judgemental in me at all... i hope your going to be ok x x @NeWoman
i have made a huge mistake in my life. mu partner has worked away for a long time. I have went through phases of feeling very down and out. I made the worse mistake I could and cheated. I got caught and see after realising I was loosing the man I love what I had actually done. He told me we were done and then soon after said he wanted to try fix our marriage. With this it came out that when he had set in his head that we were done, he had a few one night stands. We are currently working on our marriage together. He is looking for work that will let him be home and not working away. We talk lots and text each other during breaks at work and after work at night time. It feels like it's going well but he occasionally has moments where he goes cold towards me and doesn't want to talk but then the next morning tells me he just found it hard and it's a new day so look forward. A big thing That we agreed was we need to be up front with each other. We have also set goals to work towards together. I get and understand that it will take time for him to move on with me, I want to help him and have been working towards our goals but at times I struggle and feel so sick over what I have done to my marriage. We do an appreciation jars bc add something that we appreciate in our lives each day. I feel we are going extremely well but still worry about it not working out and fear loosing him. I just needed to get this off of my chest.
@Mademistakes81 Well I can relate to this! I too have cheated on spouse and he is also far away for work. We are working through things too and I plan on staying loyal. We never really opened up and talked about what happened the more recent times... 2 incidents happens this year and I somehow talked my way out of them. I am sure that he knows it's true but choose to not hear the details and push forward with me. Being caught this last time was an eye opener for me too and I worked hard to keep him from leaving, while the other times I didn't care too much and it was me that wanted the relationship to end. Have you found any couples exercisest that have been working for you?
@NeWoman If you are still looking for a regular Listener, feel free to private message me. Just search for my screen name: gongoozlersoup19 and start the conversation. I have experience as a therapist and am a regular Listener here. It sounds like there are a lot of heavy topics and experiences weighing you down. In any case, hope that you are able to get connected to a safe and caring Listener that you feel comfortable sharing with. Take care!