Exhausted dealing with elderly parents and young children - elderly mother with long term mental health difficulties
Hello,
I am in a situation of supporting everyone in my life, my elderly mother who is always very difficult, my elderly in-laws, and I have three young children.
I am struggling to manage it all and am looking for coping strategies.
My mother is a hoarder, and I have to empty and sell her property too.
Dear @Cradlehag93
I am sorry you have so much on your plate. I was in this same kinda situation not long ago . I pretty much pushed myself to losing it completely. But it's what needed to happen . When I stopped doing everything for everyone else people around me started picking up the slack. I had to step away back for this to happen. But it worked , not that was my intention because I'm a do everything kinda gal. I just hit a wall and couldn't do it all anymore. I've learned that if you do everything they will let you. If you stop doing it all they will step up.
Best of luck.
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92 well said. you r right, if you stop doing everything, someone else will pick up the slack.
@Cradlehag93 wow, im sorry you have to deal with all this, im sure it is very hard.
@Cradlehag93
Cradle :
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room where members will listen to you and support you ! 😊
@Cradlehag93 Same situation my mom insists on being independent however lives in filth and i a danger to herself can't cook or clean becomes disorientated and confused. Can't buy food, found her walking on the road once. Try and get power of attorney over your mothers affairs.
@Cradlehag93 I don’t have any coping strategies, I just wanted to say to you that as an older person with my own mental and physical health issues, health quickly deteriorating,and I have no family or friends (other than my adopted family/friends here) I also have a stash of belongings. Not tv hoarders type but enough. I’m feeling guilty leaving a stranger to empty things out when I go. I am afraid of becoming a burden on someone when my health gets to that point. I have always handled my own life and even if I had true family or friends I would probably feel more guilty for their sacrifices to care for me. I know how much one will have to sacrifice to properly care for someone like me, and I know this will not ever reach the one stuck with my care but I would like to extend a huge thank you and great praises and gratitude to you for all of your sacrifices. I hope things start to improve for you. Thank you, and whatever happens remember that you’re a wonderful person.
@Cradlehag93
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room where you will meet other
members of 7Cups ! 😊
@Cradlehag93 I understand,...and have had the same experience with my Mother In Law. The more I gave,...the more she needed. After living with us for 3 years, she moved to a Senior Home,...and still needed my support. I needed to prioritize myself and my family. Eventually,...I would set aside a certain amount of time (about 1 hr) each day, to spend just with her,...misc. one on one activities,...walks, meals, grooming, talking,... She passed away 3 years ago. I am still "dealing with" her "horded stuff" ( donations to charities). Although she never accepted me as "family",... I am grateful for the time that I had with her.
