Pun War !!

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

@arxxxh what's a mother's favorite dance. The Momba

Did you hear about the farmer who got attacked by a cow? He milked it for all it was worth.

You have no idea what you got yourself into creating this thead

My shrink assures me that my obsession with the formalization of puns is just a 'phrase I'm going through'.

One day, the monks at the monastery decided they need to raise money.
Friar Tuck decided to start a florist's shop. It was a success! All the villagers nearby loved to buy flowers from the men of God.

All except one, that is.
The local florist! He was getting run out of business by the monks. He went to the Friar and asked him to close their shop, but they refused.
A week later, he went back again, and begged the Friar to close down the shop - he was going bankrupt, and his family was hungry!

Again, they refused.

Another week still, the florists's mother went to the monastery and nagged them to close down to save her poor old son.

And yet again, they refused.

The local florist was fed up with the monks, and spent the last of his money to hire Hugh McTagart, the roughest thug in town, and well know for doing anything for money.

Hugh went to Friar Tuck, and told him that if he didn't close their florist shop, he'd have to 'persuade' them. Initially, Tuck refused-- but when McTagart began to smash up the shop and threaten the pacifist monks, he caved in and closed the shop.

Just goes to show you; Hugh, and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

It is all a punward battle from here.

Hope this thread isn't cut short!

I went to the hospital because I drank a bottle of food coloring. They said I'm ok but I still feel like I dyed inside.

You should all be sent to the state punitentiary for these...

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na...