@Tinywhisper11
Some of the 'best' texts I've ever heard:
"I am disappointed, because on the photo you head a beard, and now you don't have it."
"Why do you have to wear this stupid cap?" (the answer is: because I suffer from sinusitis)
Grumbling that I "look too young and fresh", so she might be seen as "an elderly woman who tries to seduce a young guy" (actually, I was 50 and she was between 52 and 55).
Grumbling that I "look too old and serious" to meet (while I commuted 30 miles for her, she was almost an hour late for a date, forgot the makeup, and said she's in a hurry).
Complaining to me in a restaurant that a HOT apple pie she ordered is HOT, and the egg white foam is too thin.
Showing dissatisfaction to the waitress that the orange juice was from the box, not freshly squeezed (the ladies failed to communicate).
"I am starting to like you, but you know, you are free, and I used to meet only married men."
She excitedly telling me on a date that her husband left her for their secretary, but now, while the secretary is pregnant, he wants to come back to her.
Telling me on the first date that her ex husband is in prison for attempted murder on their neighbour with an axe. Both men were too drunk to remember what actually happened.
Telling my (also on the first date and with details!) about, let's euphemistically say, 'digestive problems' of her dog.
She saying to me "I hope you would like to know me better" AFTER she forced a first kiss, said she had to go and had no idea if and how soon we can meet again.
"I know it's a Friday evening, but my adult kids are out and I have some ironing to do".
Now I tend to laugh at this. But these were the times I should have left much earlier ;-)
