What Made You Smile Today?

My boss bought me soup for lunch and he brought his dog to work today.

My youngest son had a great day at school and his teacher sent me a video of him having fun.

Seeing the look of happiness, disbelief and gratefulness in a road cleaner

To realise that i'm Not alone anymore ^-^

My younger brothers failed attempt to scare me when I got home from student teaching.

I made an awesome veggie curry :-)

When I got back home I watched an episode of family guy. Cracks me up.

My little boy started calling me mummy instead of mumma!

i was looking inside of me and that made me smile, it was a happy smile to my innerself

not a damn thing. i wish i were dead. never felt this stuck before. marinating in lifeless agony. no smiles. no tears. lethargy of the spirit, paralysis of the soul. im hamstrung morning to night, hung suspended in the void of meaningless meditations. adrift. dozing through the stagnant struggle my heart beating bleeding begging for a touch of light. nearly senseless in this soporific sickness of thought and feeling. frozen in the unwavering stasis staggering and then collapsing again. prostrate or supine, in search of some small reason to get up again. i come up empty. will i ever move again. will i be revived from this invincible deadness that has sucked the vitality from my veins all of me vacated in the utter dryness of despair. depression reigns supreme. im suffocating. stick a syringe into my head let my brain secrete the poison or electroshock me back into violent fluorescent consciousness.

when will this eternal night end? when shall the light at last find my eyes?

soon... soon... or never.