I wish I could tell everybody that...

that I'm tired of their fake friendship and that they should save their breath and tell me what they really think. I hate their fake hugs and smiles and "I love you"s.

That im lesbian, that im depressed, generally and socially anxious, stressed, self harming, i have family problems, im bullied, i have anger, guilt and PTSD and trauma, and that i need help right now.

Im tired of all

Learning German is hard, and I doubt that I will ever be fluent enough to raise a family here and live here permanently because of my limitation in Deutsch.

That I'm genderfluid! (without the family consequences)

I hold back a lot of my emotions and when they think I'm doing better, I'm just really holding everything in and trying not to upset them.

I know I don't say much but every word is valuable. I have a genuinely loving, caring heart which is not to be used, abused, and/or mistreated, it should be protected and treasured like the precious jewel it is; it should be appreciated for its rarity and not taken advantage of, never to be taken for granted.

I'm not as strong as they think I am.

I am not strong.That sometimes i need a hug,to ease my sadness.that i also want someone to comfort and listen to my problems;(..my family and friends think that im ok..and strong.sad truth of being me.huhuhu..

I want love and attention (mostly help) when I'm the ugliest person I could be to them... I didn't never meant to hurt them.