My words to a younger me would be

"Just stay strong." @Kashie

Just be confident!

You where not a coward. That painic was the bodies natural response to lack of oxygen it wasn't you chickening out. You don't have to hate yourself for that. It was a good thing you didn't die becase you got to be close to Oscar you got to have a father. A real one not the shit that your biological dad was. You got to be loved for you you where accepted and valued. You mattered to him. He's dead now and so there is nothing to live for anymore. Be glad you got to live becase you got to love him and be his friend.

Don't get attached

Stand-up for yourself

Don't let people use you

You're always alone

Choose good friends

Trust no one

You are exemplary

Don't give up, there's hope!

Breathe deeply. Relax.

I would say, don't ever feel like what happened to your parents relationship was your fault. Your morals are so straight forward that you couldn't keep a secret from some one who was getting hurt and that is okay. You Are a beautiful young girl who should never have been told she was fat and never have been told she was an idiot. I love you.

F*** peer pressure.

"Believe in yourself."