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Will I ever be able to have friends?
JovianPlutonian February 28th

So I have led a very sheltered, very closed childhood. I am now 17, and have been homeschooled my entire life, so I have never really gotten a chance in my teenage years to make friends.




I have really only ever met people from the churches I go to, which have consisted of an exclusive, awful, "we don't want you here" church and several "no one is your age, ha" churches.




So basically I have no social skills, and fear that my chances for a normal relationship in any aspect has been ruined, since I don't know how to navigate the friendship waters, and have lived with only myself for so long that I don't really "need" friends.




But I might leave for college in the fall, and I am very worried that my awkward (socially and generally), introvert self will never find people to text or hang out with or go on dates with or anything.




Has anyone else gone through something similar and led a life with normal relationships?

6
BelovedMe February 28th

@JovianPlutonian

Hey there, social adventurer! šŸŒŸ Welcome to the wild world of friendship and connection! šŸŽ‰ It sounds like you've been on quite the unique journey, but guess what? You're not alone, and there's a whole universe of possibilities waiting for you out there! šŸŒŒ


So, your social skills might feel a bit rusty, but fear not! šŸ› ļø Think of it like leveling up in a video gameā€”every interaction is a chance to gain XP and become a master at this game called life! šŸ’Ŗ Sure, it might feel daunting at first, but remember, everyone starts somewhere, and there's no rush to become the life of the party overnight! šŸŽˆ

Now, about those friendship watersā€”think of them as your own personal water park! šŸŠā€ā™‚ļø Dive right in, splash around, and don't be afraid to make a few waves along the way! šŸŒŠ You might encounter some bumps or awkward moments, but that's all part of the adventure! Embrace your quirks, be genuine, and watch as those friendships start blooming like colorful flowers in spring! šŸŒø

And as for college in the fall? šŸŽ“ Get ready to embark on the ultimate quest for connection! šŸš€ College is like a treasure trove of opportunities to meet people from all walks of life, so strap in and get ready for some epic adventures! Whether it's late-night study sessions, campus clubs, or spontaneous pizza runs, there's something for everyone!

Remember, it's okay to take things one step at a time and to be kind to yourself along the way. šŸŒŸ You've got this, adventurer! And who knows? Your journey might just inspire others to embark on their own quests for friendship and connection! šŸ’« #AdventureAwaits
2 replies
JovianPlutonian OP February 28th

@BelovedMe


Thank you so much!!!! Your reply was so encouraging and gave me a new way to view my situation. Looking at it like an adventure with ways to level up completely changes my mindset!

1 reply
BelovedMe February 28th

@JovianPlutoniancouple-couple-kiss.gif

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@JovianPlutonian

Hi!! Iā€™m Kiara. I was homeschooled too! All the way through high school :)

I actually had the opposite experience reallyā€¦ Sort of. My mom made sure I was super socialized, with church, volunteering, neighbor kids, events, homeschool co-ops, etc. However, I became a recluse when I was 16 or so, after I had a falling out with my dad for his abuse, and we parted ways. I had to relearn to be a social creature in college!

Iā€™m so sorry! Iā€™ve been a part of both kinds of churches. I was part of a cult (didnā€™t realize it until years later!) which was very judgmental and pressured my boyfriend (successfully) to break up with me. Iā€™m currently in a church made up of all older people (mostly), so I donā€™t really fit in.

I can tell you right now that college was the best thing that ever happened to me! I was socially awkward (more than I am now lol) because of my depression and my autism. However, I found a Christian group on campus that accepted and loved me no matter what, and spending time with them, I learned how to be a normal human. Lol! I just fed off peopleā€™s reactions, imitated them, etc. People always say they canā€™t tell that Iā€™m autistic. Thatā€™s partially because of that group! <3

So when you get to collegeā€¦ Join groups/clubs. Try them all! Ditch the ones you donā€™t like or feel comfy in, and embrace the good ones. Donā€™t obsess over being perfect socially. Keep showing up. Learn from them, imitate them. Get peopleā€™s numbers! Contact people fairly regularly and invite them to events or just to go grab coffee. :)


Iā€™d love to get to know you and trade homeschool stories! <3

Kiara

1 reply
JovianPlutonian OP March 5th

@jesusredeemedme2425


Hello Kiara! thanks for sharing your story, it was very encouraging to hear how you overcame your situation. It made me feel a lot better about college :)



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