The turmoil of friendships.
Throughout our lives, we think our friends are the ones we played with, studied with, or just met along the way. Were they really my friends? Did I really enjoy myself in their company? I'm grateful for the role they've played in my life, and I wish I could be a good part of their lives too. But I feel I have the tendency to leave. I can't hold on to connections that feel draining to me. I can't hold on to people who make me feel happy too. I let go of people easily. All I'm left with is grief, some memories, and a few shades of loneliness. Every phase of my life introduced me to new kinds of people, but who did I really connect with? What is friendship to me? I've been trying to understand it, and honestly, I think I'd love it if someone could help me understand what it is and how to make it a part of our lives. I'm not saying that I don't need friends. We are humans after all. Social Animals. We crave connection. A genuine one. Then I question myself. Should I try being happy alone, or should I adjust myself to feeling alone in a group of people? All these questions make me question myself. Is there something I've been doing wrong? Is there something I need to work on? I wonder how people who, at one phase of life, were a part of our lives, but the next phase, just turns them into people we just met at that time.