Navigating my friend’s new relationship
One of my best friends is getting into a new relationship. it’s harder to accept than i want it to be. Just watching how she talks about her is difficult. They really like each-other. And i want to be supportive…. it’s difficult to keep from feeling jealous or comparing myself to her. I just wish .. anyway.
I just want to feel happy for her instead. When she gets into relationships i have to take a bit of a backseat. So while I’m happy that she’s finding love again, i know that my relationship with her might have to change. I want to support this change in her life and my life.
I want to support the growth that will inevitably happen in her and in myself. I want to support growth, even if it means growing apart. And even though i have the map as i have been here before, i know what a treacherous path it is… has been.. hmm. I have this new platform, and new responses, coping mechanisms and patterns of behavior. Maybe because of having been here before, and new tools to help with the journey, maybe… maybe it won’t be as difficult. If i don’t have anything else, i have this. I have new tools and new coping mechanisms. I have a new way of life. I am now better equipped to handle this journey.
i can do this.
@NikkiNetik
Hi there,
I can relate to what you are dealing with, you are not alone. It can be really tough when a close friends gets into a new relationship, it can be so easy to feel jealous. I see that you are very selfless since you care so much about the growth and happiness of your friend, that is wonderful! It's also great that you are keeping in mind all the coping mechanisms that can help you.
You are doing great, take care!
@NikkiNetik
I can empathize with you. It's tough to have to take the backseat. Clearly, you like her a lot, and you already miss her and dread being apart more often from now on.
I am very impressed by the way you frame this issue. You are clearly well-equipped to handle the situation, at least in terms of awareness.
I think open and honest communication is something that is always useful. Not in the sense of you dumping your feelings on her and making it seem like you demand something. But I believe that communicating at least your basic needs to each other can be very useful. After all, that's what a friendship is about: trust and support.
I wish you lots of strength and hope that you will be able to enjoy your friendship much more than you have been anticipating so far.
