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NikkiNetik
2 10,784 M Pacing Forward 4
PathStep 199 Compassion hearts917 Forum posts38 Forum upvotes53 Current upvotes53 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 8, 2020
Bio
I love this app!
Recent forum posts
Nephew just died
Trauma Support / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 April 4th, 2023
...See more 5 year old nephew just died. I’m feeling numb. happened two hours ago. idk how to process.
Feelings for my best friend
Relationship Stress / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 November 6th, 2022
...See more i’ve been fighting feelings for my best friend for 3 years now, and every time i get to the point that I’m ready to finally move on, something happens that pulls us in closer together. She has made it clear that she isn’t interested in a relationship with me. And i am respectful of that. We truly are great friends. I love being close to her, but I’m tired of the feelings. So I’ve been reaching out to other people. Trying to build community outside of my friendship with her and our mutual friends. I’ve been making more time for myself, and focusing on me and things i like to do apart from anyone else. I’ve been trying to stay in the present moment as much as possible, instead of thinking about her. I’ve been meditating in the morning. And I’ve been focusing on my career and finding new ways to build optimal success within my field. it’s been working the past couple of months, but at this time of year, during the holidays, my brain wants someone to be with and hold and spend those intimate moments with, and it’s been more of a struggle lately. She’s been just popping up out of nowhere in my head and it’s been coming in quite strongly, and it feels familiar and warm and nice, giving my brain hits of dopamine, which makes it more difficult to shift my thoughts and be in the present moment. I can do it, but for some reason it’s been more difficult the past few days. Normally, I would just shove it all down, and ignore it, and hope it goes away… But it hasn’t worked for the past three years. And I’m ready to make a change. I’m ready to love myself with the same intensity, that I love her. Which means building a life I’m in love with. Building some thing for myself so that I can love my life whether I’m alone or not. It to create habits and a lifestyle that can also facilitate a mutually beneficial relationship in the future, with someone who wants to be with me too 🙂 But for now, I have to focus on me. I have to create the life that I want.. I guess me reaching out like this is creating a new pattern. In the tough moments of my life I’m not just gonna shut down anymore. I’m not gonna blame anyone else anymore. I’m going to take responsibility for my own self, and I’m going to reach out so i can get in a better, more mindful, purposeful and healthy mindset, and move forward ❤️
Navigating my friend’s new relationship
Friendship Support / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 November 5th, 2022
...See more One of my best friends is getting into a new relationship. it’s harder to accept than i want it to be. Just watching how she talks about her is difficult. They really like each-other. And i want to be supportive…. it’s difficult to keep from feeling jealous or comparing myself to her. I just wish .. anyway. I just want to feel happy for her instead. When she gets into relationships i have to take a bit of a backseat. So while I’m happy that she’s finding love again, i know that my relationship with her might have to change. I want to support this change in her life and my life. I want to support the growth that will inevitably happen in her and in myself. I want to support growth, even if it means growing apart. And even though i have the map as i have been here before, i know what a treacherous path it is… has been.. hmm. I have this new platform, and new responses, coping mechanisms and patterns of behavior. Maybe because of having been here before, and new tools to help with the journey, maybe… maybe it won’t be as difficult. If i don’t have anything else, i have this. I have new tools and new coping mechanisms. I have a new way of life. I am now better equipped to handle this journey. i can do this.
Breathing actually works!!!
Anxiety Support / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 December 1st, 2022
...See more I’ve been trying these breathing excercises through meditation. and it’s been going well where i focus on my breathing during meditation for about 5 minutes every morning in this app called Medito that helps people learn how to meditate. So I’ve been practicing this every day for 5 minutes for a few weeks now. and it’s been good, but I’ve been relatively skeptical, and like.. “is this working?” And i would find here and there that being present and focusing on my breathing would help. But there was an element, i felt, that i was missing. But i couldn’t put my finger on it 🧐 So last week, i went to a massage therapy session and, because of my workouts, this session was a bit painful. My massage therapist said, “okay, this one is going to be a bit intense, I’ll need you to breathe slowly through it for me.” and when i tell you it was painful. i mean 😩😩😩. But it had to be done for her to reach the right muscle. So she told me to breathe out, and then take a deep slow breath in. And while i was breathing in, she started working but while i was breathing out slowly, she did the most work. So i took that, and i found myself mentally preparing for the pain by breathing in, and during the most strenuous part of the work, i would breath out as steadily and slowly as humanly possible. And it helped! Immensely. So much so, that my therapist was impressed by it and complimented me on it, stating that her job is usually the more difficult because a lot of people don’t know how to breathe through the pain of it. That stuck with me. And ever since then I’ve been using it for my anxiety. Every time i feel anxiety or fear or the pain of failure in my life, i accept the feeling by breathing in as slowly as possible, and then i let it go by breathing out as slowly as possible. Really taking it in and letting it out. Denying that i have pain and fear doesn’t help make it go away, in fact, it makes it worse. Acknowledging that there is pain in the moment, helps me release it. And somehow breathing helps. Just like it actually helped with my real physical pain. Every time my massage therapist would go in deep, i would close my eyes and breathe through it, and it made it easier for her to help me heal ❤️‍🩹
Bouncing Ball
Mindfulness Center / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 September 21st, 2022
...See more The bouncing ball of mindfulness voice recording was oddly therapeutic. Idky but it legitimately made me 😭. Like it’s weird haha. But i loved how the ball is attached to the breath. And you help it get through obstacles by focusing on your breathing. The ball almost has a certain cognitive sense in itself like a child. And after all of the stains and cuts and challenges and things life in the world threw at it, the ball considered it a great adventure and giggled even. It’s like… these crazy things could have been ten times scarier and stressful for the ball, but your breathing helped it through and helped remind it that everything was okay. i love this analogy. I want to be there for myself like this. When I’m sad or stressed or depressed, i have to remember to breathe and to help myself through the ups and downs and mud and water and kicks and gravel and walls and challenges in life through meditation and mindfulness. This life is an adventure! And i always want to see it that way 🥰
Boundaries
Relationship Stress / by NikkiNetik
Last post
 September 19th, 2022
...See more This week I’ve been trying to learn how to set boundaries. It’s difficult Cz I’ve never had boundaries before. It feels super uncomfortable and selfish 😩 😬
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