@VioletSurvival0
Hi Violet! 😊 ❤️ Thank you so very much for your forum post, as well as, for sharing of yourself here with us! I know that many times it takes a great deal of courage to do so.
First, I'd like to say that I am so very sorry that you were treated this way by the first person you mentioned. It's incredibly saddening to know that someone laughed at your pain. It sounds as if this person didn't validate your feelings, mocked you as well as devalued your thoughts and appraisal of the situation.
There certainly is a vast difference in having "spheres of influence", people that we trust and that know us quite well, that have our best interests at heart, people that are willing to listen to us, to be a sounding board and to provide us with constructive feedback (if needed) in an effort to help us and what it is that you experienced. This doesn't sound like a very good approach to me and in fact, it sounds like a very hurtful one.
If it were me, I would truly question as to whether I should or would be willing to share and open up in the future to someone that behaved in this way. It doesn't seem as if you sharing of your emotions with them ended up being helpful, productive or emotionally rewarding. Again, I'm very sorry you were treated this way.
On a positive note, I'm really glad that you found a different friend to share with. It does sound as if they had your best interest at heart, spent a great deal of time with you and took a much better approach in helping you with your situation. Friend #2 gets *high fives* 😊 from me! Nice job friend #2! 😊
I'm glad that friend #2 reminded you of your worth, validated your feelings and emotions and helped you along in the healing process of being treated deplorably. I'm glad that they reminded you that you are allowed to have boundaries. That you are deserving of dignity and respect and that those that treat us in negative ways, might not be worthy of our time and that perhaps "no contact" should be in order.
In addition, I really love that you brought up the topic of cursing. There is a great deal of truth in what it is that you say in regard to that. Indeed, there is a time and place for everything and there can be times when cursing can actually make someone feel a lot better. 😳 (shocking, I know) 😊
I read about a study done, some time back, in regard to the relationship between cursing and pain management. It was fascinating. One group of test subjects was allowed to curse (asked to) after stubbing their toe and the second group of test subjects was told to not curse after stubbing their toe. Well, the results are in and the first group of test subjects, the ones that were allowed to and were actually encouraged to curse reported significantly less pain, comparatively speaking.
I imagine this translates to emotional pain and frustration or else, we as people, wouldn't engage in it. Must be something to this! lol 😊
Perhaps your friend, using colorful words had a cathartic affect and helped you to live vicariously and feel truly understood. Certain words used can show us the degree to how upset someone is, kind of give us the "flavor" of what is going on and sometimes, in some situations only certain words will do. I chalk this up to what is called "poetic licence".
I think it is good for any of us to understand when someone is simply using certain words to vent, need a bit of space to decompress versus being cursed "at". Big, big difference.
Violet, thank you again for sharing your thoughts, feelings and emotions with all of us today! I'm hoping that my response for you may be helpful in some way. If not, perhaps others will come along and see value in our dialogue.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
