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Toxic father and step mother

vanita66 April 20th

I'm the eldest daughter of my family going to be 24 next month on 6th , it's all started when my mother died in 2015 .


I faced so many challenges like my father became an alcoholic addiction and my relatives manipulated and brainwashed him totally towards me , he comes abused me everytime , saying hurtful things and a lot.


But in recent years my father got married second time in 2022,


and my step mom is like same as relative. 




At present, still my father is an alcoholic addiction 


Today what happened like, she always tries to look for a way to hurt me and if I don't react then she tries to manipulate my father but the thing is today the limit was crossed, I'm unable to have strength to bearing this much pain in my chest it's affecting my day today life 


I'm still a student and also I have no one to share , not even friends I don't have friends, family, not sister too 




When my father was drunk I hardly try to not to face my father cause if I'm facing him , he will more became aggressive try to harm me 


But step mother is saying that you have to go to visit your father 


She's manipulating my father that " see yours daughter atleast not giving you a cup of glass water and all " like that 


Even many more like this , and father is just abusing even he slapped me . 


When I take stand on myself step mother is just raising voice upon me and provoking my father more and more .


Even I do everything in perfect manner, response everything but stills my father abusing a lot on daily basis , I don't have strength to bear it.




I can't even take stand on myself ,


I'm still student, unemployed and this thing is continuing on daily basis. 




I don't know what to do ? I cried a lot 


I feel so hurt this traumatic experience is involving in my day to day life like studies , sleeping disorder, depression and many more 




Please what to do?


I'm unable to see the future of my life....!!


Please help me regarding this ...!! 


It's being affecting my brain , and mental health ..!!

8
Apeatrice April 24th

@vanita66


*warm tight hugs* (if permission granted)


Being brought up in such an environment must be unimaginably hard. I am proud of you for being such a brave and strong warrior.


You deserve love and friendships. You are not alone, we are here to support you. You are safe here.


And please remember, no matter what has happened, no matter how much pain the past has installed on us. We still behold the future. Everything is gonna be alright.


Help is available.

1 reply
vanita66 OP April 24th

@Apeatrice thanks for your kind words and for your support , but this all traumatic situation coming after coming it already affected my personality and i completely changed .... Thanks for your kindness support, and for God and yours kindness giving me strength to again stand up alone strongly ... !! Let's see how much I can holdup to in future.....!! 

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MZhang April 24th

I am so sorry to hear. It's absolutely not fair that everything is coming to you. Does you father realize what he had done to you when he's not drunk? Do you have anybody trustworthy like a teacher or a family member that can talk to them because abuse and drug addiction is a serious problem. For your father's health and for your good I really suggest that someone take your father to see a doctor...I can't believe what you are young through right now and I hope things can be better❤️Stay strong and feel free to come to me whenever you need.

2 replies
vanita66 OP April 24th

@MZhang thanks for your kind words and support towards me 💕but my father some days he live as stable person and some days unstable like addicted person . And right now only my father is the only person who earns I'm still student and I really don't have anyone nor the teacher or friends whom I can rely on , yes my situation started as toxicity since 2015 . After that I saw many politics things done by my relative or anyone and then it continues the traumatic situation again and again that's why it's affected my day to day live performance of my studies and I had back in my exam when results were out .  For God sake and people like you who's stranger but still comes as angel person like a guardian angel who support me in this low phase, and I could stand up , hold up myself strongly ..........!!!!!!  Thanks for being there with me ♥️ I wish you that you deserve all happiness and everything like you're kind heart is ....!! Thanks for your support 

1 reply
MZhang April 25th

No problem girl❤️❤️❤️Maybe try to find a time when your father is in a stable mood and talk to him but make sure you're safe first. This is the priority!!!❤️Everything will be okay!!!

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calmMango9611 April 27th

@vanita66 I am very sorry for your loss. I hope things get better for you, my friend. Maybe, try connecting with a listener here at 7Cups, they might be able to help you, my friend.

akunknown June 17th

@vanita66:

I’m really sorry you’re going through this situation. 

While you have a toxic father and a step mother, it started out the reverse way for me with having a step dad and always having a toxic mother but now they’re both toxic. What’s been working for me is keeping my distance from them as much and as long as possible. It’s reduced stress a lot and I’ve been so much happier! 

I think it’ll be great and beneficial for you to try that. If you can move out, move. If you can go on vacation, go. If not, then get out of the house and enjoy the day outdoors or at least go out for a meal and/or a walk or bike riding or something like that. If you do spend the day outdoors, I recommend going home once your parents are asleep if you know what time they sleep. The less you deal with them the better it is for you :)

wandamx26 June 20th

I can understand how you feel. I too have some issues with my dad because he is short-tempered. Meaning he can get mad at even the most minor inconvenience. Most of the time I just isolate from him and not say a word because I just never know when he is going to explode.