@quickwittedCamp7013
Hi Camp! 😊❤️
Thank you for reaching out for support, for creating this forum post and I know sometimes that can be so very hard to do. I commend you my friend! We are here for you, you are not alone, as can be seen by all of the amazing contributions to your thread by my stellar teammates!💡
Just for the record, I don't find you to be petty and not in the least! Even though the singular issue of ordering the water sounds to be quite frustrating and for the very good reasons that you mentioned, it sounds as if this is a recurring theme in your relationship with your husband. It's not just about the water any longer, I get it!
It sounds as if it just so happened to be the H20 that brought you to the "tipping point", saturation point, just like a sponge that ...pardon the play on words...cannot absorb even one more ounce of water.
You truly strike me as a kind and well meaning person that most likely has been long suffering with all of this. We all have our limits and it sounds as if you have finally reached yours. It's not just the water, it's you having to live day by day in a highly unbalanced relationship. I can only imagine that you may be sitting and wondering how did this all happen?
It does happen slowly doesn't it? Very slowly and over time where givers keep giving and others take more and more until ones "personal well" is starting to run dry. I commend you for knowing yourself, for having the self awareness of when your resources have been depleted and when to raise the red flag that it's just not equitable any longer and not even close!
It sounds as if there are some boundary issues going on. It's hard enough for us as kind people to even set the boundaries in the first place. 😳 *high fives* 😊 on setting a boundary with your husband...i.e. "you order the water". Well done my friend!
Now we move on to phase 2. Phase 2 can be even more difficult it seems as so much is told to us about boundary setting however it's hard to find information about what to do when we set the bar and then we watch them "limbo" right underneath it. Gee, I set a boundary and it has been ignored.
Sometimes boundary setting (and follow through) can be more about training ourselves than others around us. Interesting concept, I know! 😊 You have a right to your feelings, you have a right to your very own time, you have a right to your sacred space, you have a right to your very own wants and needs in life independent of his. You are a human being. ❤️ While it may sound odd today, I grant you the right to be a human being! ❤️ And some days, maybe that's what it really takes....for someone on the outside to tell us it's okay to be a human being and have wants and needs of our very own.
For many of us here in the community that may need help or support and for a myriad of things, my feelings are "you didn't get there overnight so it won't find resolution overnight". However.....slow and steady wins the race! 😊
You have an entire community that is more than happy to wrap their arms around you and support you in your journey. You can make your "line in the sand" for boundary issue number 1 if you like. You can seek help and support to hold strong and not cave to jump in and just fix it all. (Probably hurt you more than him to do so, truth be known, lol 😊 as we do kind of fall into patterns).
During this time, you could even make a list of things you just don't find worthy of you to do any longer. If you would like, you could introduce a new concept, goal, to release the responsibility of on whatever type of timeline you see fit. Not providing advice here, just simply brainstorming, tossing around ides, suggestions.
It's hard to watch those that we love and care for struggle in their own ways. These can be painful moments. Having said that, "If nothing changes, then nothing changes" and sometimes it is us that have to be the force for change in a positive direction.
Sounds like you are ready my sweet friend! 😊 I believe in you! ❤️
*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️