Is it wrong to set boundaries in finance for my family?

Hi, I'm an English tutors whom doesn't make much off work and I very strict about my spending and saving especially when it come to my family.

I came from a not really wealthy family, we have some financial issues but we do get by. We were once very rich and doesn't have to worry a things but life took a dark turn for us and we lost most of our wealth. I, even tho was young back then saw these struggle and I learn how to save money and don't spend it recklessly like the others. I love them but they lost my trust over the years, they constantly promise things or trick me in to giving them my savings and left little me waiting for nothing. That broke my trust even as a child. After countless of time I loss my saving because they took advantage of my trust I decided to keep my money a secret and only spend a little of my salary to save up a little bit and set a boundaries for my family on how they can ask me for money and not let them manipulate me into giving them.

I'm very young and still in school but also work so I can take care of myself and be independent for once. Due to some paperwork I unfortunately doesn't have a bank account yet to track my salary. My aunt (who is the one that supposed to give me my salary because my boss transfer my money in her bank account) so many times give me like 20-30% and then give me the rest a couple of weeks later which is so hard for me to keep track of my spending and saving because I can't save while I have thing to pays. And sometimes I have to borrow money because of that to have enough to care for myself. She also ask me for money sometime and I will give her if it in my budget but not every time I can give her even tho I know she need it but I also know I need it and have my own debt to pay. She cried and cursed at me when I say "no" & "you're 40, your salary is 4x higher than mine, it's not my fault you can't manage your spending" ect... Eveey time she called me "ungrateful" because she have raised me. I do love her and feel bad but I'm think for my future too, I need that money and I stay firm with my decision because I think that's what best for me and when I'm at my best then I can help her but right now I cannot.

It's not like I didn't tried to talk it out with her seriously, it's just everytime I did she called me ungrateful and said she needed more than I am so I have to say pretty hard words (not proud of it). Although I do think she can spend less and she doesn't pay any bill, my dad pays for everything, I see no point of her not spending less since she make more than me and I can save up, why can't she?

So am I selfish in this? Am I ungrateful? It's been crossing my mine so much yet I need other people opinion