If I want to get better I have to put myself first
I've two terminally ill parents who live separately. I do my best and am there them. They are extremely dependent. I don't have much freedom away from their demands. It's draining.
I've neglected myself and my recovery because of this (and other stuff!) And it has to change asap. My battle is much bigger then I ever thought it would be and it's getting harder. I am desperate to overcome this because every part of my life is depending on me to get well.
This right now is the toughest thing I've ever been through. I was told I need to be selfish if I want to be better. It sounds harsh, but I have to remember that fighting for your health and your life is not selfish at all. It's being kind, but to yourself.
Not exactly sure why I'm writing this but I just can't wait to be well and have my life back
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@GoingWithGrace I am very moved to hear your story, but it is true that if your own health is not good how can you let them rely on you, so first take care of yourself and tell them that you have not forgotten them, and then bring them together to live and take care of them.
You might divide needs from wants and streamline the type of help you give.
I care take my mentally ill and now early dementia husband and have for a decade and a half. I have also had experience with two different elderly persons in my care for end of life.
Example Water is a need. A certain special milkshake from a place across town is a want.
I have noticed alot of time family members will refuse outside help and put it all in a family member even when the help Costa them little ir nothing. Outsourcing is seeing that their needs are met even of its not theor preference. Some situations provide caretaker espite for example Medicare in the USA.
I hope you find a way to carve out some time and energy for your self, believe me you can sacrifice so much you loose who you are and can come up years later in a changed world.
I think you might be struggling with "compassion fatigue". It's something caregivers can struggle with when they don't prioritize them selves.
