toxic siblings
hi, i dont see this type of situation being talked about pretty much at all so i want to know if theres other people out there in the same situation as me and how you guys deal with it.. So to start off, im 18 and i live at home, my sister is almost 14 and i Can Not Stand her. I simply cant and the reason why is because she doesnt respect anyone in our family (except our stepdad) and its so severe that every day when she wakes up the 1st thing she does is start yelling and picking fights. She insults, belittles, cusses all the time, yells at us constantly and despite trying basically everything (taking away her electronics, grounding, discussions, etc) nothing that my parents do has helped. I am so frustrated in this and her behaviour is affecting my mental health to the point where i have developed minor anger issues and am unable to recover from my eating disorder as she constantly triggers me (i know i cant simply ask her to change her eating Habits for my sake but i hope you get the point.) I simply dont know what to do! :-/ This has gone on since she learned how to talk but everyone (including our MULTIPLE social workers) have just told me that its sibling rivalry and nothing more. The only person that really understands that this behaviour is not acceptable is my mom, but she doesnt know what to do either
@loyalMango7325
It sounds frustrating and unfair to you family that your sister is so disruptive. I can understand why her behavior is creating feelings of anger for you and is upsetting your well being. It's not easy to live with someone who seems to want to be the center of attention, even is the attention is negative. It's good to know your mom is understanding of you and your feelings. It sounds like your parents are doing the best that can to see that your sister is getting the help she needs. How are you cpoing with your feelings? Do you have some positive coping mechanisms for when her behavior gets too overwhelming for you? Would it be possible to avoid interacting wth her when she is behaving badly, like reading a book in the back yard or listening to soothing music, maybe? Have the social workers made any suggestions to you on protecting your mental wel being?
Hello and thank you so much for your reply🙏🏻How are you coping with your feelings? -i dont bc all i can do is 1. bottle it up or 2. yell back and defend myself. sometimes i vent to my only real friend but he doesnt quite understand the weight of the situation, and to answer your other question about avoiding interaction with her, Yes i do engage in this type of behaviour for example if im in the kitchen doing whatever and she comes in i will often just leave the room immediatly. i do enjoy reading but its almost impossible to focus on distractions when shes acting up because i often times feel like i have to defend my mom from her, so i cant help but listen in my room. i also used to do this when my parents would have vicious fights downstairs and i listened upstairs to make sure they werent getting physical. idk if that makes sense when i put it in a nutshell like this, hope it does. and again thank you, i appreciate any help i can get on improving the situation
Growing up, my sisters ran away, were physically violent, did drugs, dropped out, were in and out of the house...etc. It was a constant stress in my life. This first tip will seem impossible but: 1) Try to empathize. Your sister is acting like a nightmare because she's going through something. It doesn't make her behavior okay, but understanding this will help you shrug off her actions more often. 2) Learn some healthy coping mechanisms, yelling and ignoring aren't it. You could journal, meditate, write letters to your mom, go for a jog...etc. You can't control her actions but you can control your response to her actions. 3) Plan to move out. It's tough these days for 18-year-olds to be financially independent, but it sounds like you need some space from your sister. Roommates will make it easier. Of course, there is no magic wand but hopefully, these tips can help ease your stress a little.
