Trigger Words
I have some words that I have a lot of anger when they are said towards me, and I'm trying to untangle those feelings. My parents would always call me cute, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but I always asked them to stop or stop treating me like a baby. Calling me cute was like a way they were doing that and it trampled over my boundaries and it hurt. They also call me abnormal whenever I did something that they didn't think was normal. Their definition of normal is very small: extroverted, sociable, physically affectionate. I'm none of those things. I feel like the odd one out in my family. They tell me I'm close minded, but I feel like that's them. I get so irrationally angry when I'm called cute or abnormal, and I don't want to be. I want it to stop.
@mentalityshake
(Small TW)
My family kinda did this for a while, but when I told them to stop and told them how it makes me feel, they stopped. It made me really upset when they called me pretty or beautiful. I had some really scary people in my life that would call me this and it always scares me when i'm called pretty. I always tell all my friends to not call me those types of words.
Anyway- I highly recommend telling them/asking them to stop and tell them how it makes you feel. And if you don't want to say it to their face, then write it down and put it in their room or somewhere, where they will find it.
I hope this helped
~Emma (or Missy)
Compliments make me nervous too. If I lived in a disney movie I'd assume it was to boost my confidence but downtown Los Angeles it's a clear indication to get out the pepper spray.
@miraculousParadise2759
Yeah- if the world wasn't as scary as it is, it might be nice to get a few compliments. But people now are scary... My mom always says that she wants the world to go back to where everyone was friends with everyone. But, I hate to say it but, I think the world is just getting worse...
I have pepper spray in my room, in my car, on my keys, and in my backpack... From what happened to me a while ago, I have been scared of everyone.
And yeah- some places like Los Angeles aren't the safest place... (I'm guessing you live there-?) I hope you stay safe! Tc :3
I feel safer around somebody who admits they're dangerous than anyone who claims to be "harmless". A nice guy for that matter is somebody who denies their actual human nature, I don't make friends with people who lie to themselves about themselves. It's best to trust that everyone has selfish intention, yet to support them in ways that don't leave you exploited. Assume the worst of them, yet hope the best for them. A challenge that is. Stay safe!
@miraculousParadise2759
Yeah- that is a hard challenge... but you're right.
I'm sorry if your parents invalidated what happened to you, perhaps it is difficult for your mother to accept those realities. To whomever put you in this situation, my wish is they get kicked by a horse with steel shoes, and wake up to face themselves.
Hmm. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. The only way I see is to inform them in such a manner that they completely understand you.
It feels awful to be talked down to, especially when people don't recognize or respect us for who we are, rather to treat us like a younger, weaker, smaller version of ourselves.
A question may arise, why do those labels create such a rise in you if you didn't question their validity? Are your parent's motivations for applying those words more about their internal state of mind rather than your own? Is your self image connected to your parent's image of you? Where does you sense of personal image derive? An internal place or from external source?
@mentalityshake
Thank you for expressing yourself here.
We crave to be accepted by our close one instead of burdening us to be something else. I have few question for you if okay you can reply.
Do you thing the lack of acceptance from your parent make u angry ?
What would be alternative behaviour they should do in place of present behaviour?
Would be possible for you to express that i feel upset when you label me cute or abnormal according to your perception of my action done and it lead to anger and spoiling our relationship ?