Seems very toxic
I love my family but they seem very toxic to me. I was talking to my mom and she was only comparing me with my cousins making me feel bad and my older brother has anger issues. My whole family tend to fight about small things, last time they had a discussion about how to prepare brokkoli and it ended with my dad being upset and my brother leaving, slamming the door aggressively. I don't know, they are a mess. And I realise how I myself have anger issues sometimes and get frustrated by the smallest things, but then I always think about my family and stop, because I don't want to be like them. But I also can't change how they are, which makes me kinda sad, because everyone is constantly fighting. And being totally fake infront of our relatives.
I don't know how old you are but, it's good to see you recognize that you have an issue and you're already working on it. And I've been through the dysfunctional family stuff. It gets old quick. The only one that you can change, is you. But you may consider talking to them individually about how it affects you. So that there are no arguments...
Yeah, I started recognizing this stuff when I was younger. My mom tries to tell me now at 27 that it’s normal and I never seemed to care when they were arguing cus I would play like a normal kid and blah blah blah. T No matter how much I try to explain to any of my siblings or even parents, I always get the same crap. Its in your head.. (duh, its called mental illness for a reason) just try to find a hobby, religion, keep yourself busy. Finally, the blank stare of confusion/discomfort. Its funny, You can literally see them trying to make sense of it while also refusing to see their own mistakes or how others hurt them. Its this weird victim blaming mentality, where they refuse to be the victim. Therefor they cant feel compassion for anyone, even themselves. Thing is, mental health, human behavior, philosophy, psychology etc. is a huge hobby and what I happen to busy myself with, Its too much to explain and this is long enough but our families seem to have created a reality for themselves where all this is normal, and stepping out of that reality would mean having to face, not only how people have hurt them but how their actions have affected others. You cant change what doesn’t want to be changed but, I highly recommend some kind of counseling to learn to manage your anger problems. The sooner you do the easier it is to manage later in life. Good luck, keep your head up and remind yourself who you are everyday cus the gaslighting and manipulation will get to you every now and then. Just a small tip from experience.
Hello there, my friend! Being in a dysfunctional family can be really emotionally exhausting. I could feel you. Also, I'm super proud of you for not wanting to be like them. It's true that they cannot be changed. I wish you make yourself constantly better and be a wonderful human. I understand it's very tiring to be there but I wish you be strong. Sending you love and positivity. *hugs* ❤❤
