SAHM is asking for a break bad

Hello!

In my opinion I don't think your a bad mom because you want a break. Mom's need time for themselves, and no hate to your husband but it's not just your job to take care of your girls. No matter if he's their dad or step dad he should help out. You deserve some you time! I get him with a new job is stressful and hard but he should still help you out with your kids.

Have a great day/night!

I'm a mom of three. I totally understand where you're at now. I never had babies back to back, but I get overwhelmed nonetheless. It's okay to ask for help, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty for asking. Take care of yourself. Remember, you can't take care of others without putting yourself first.

Girl, no. You are not a bad mom. I'm sorry but your husband sounds like an ass. Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you are no longer a human with your own identity. You need to be able to shower, eat, sleep, have time to get dressed and even put on makeup if that's what you're inclined to do. Your husband should be supportive of these very basic human needs. He should understand that in order for you to function properly and take care of and raise the children in a positive environment, their mother needs to not be a happy person too. Take care of yourself sweetheart. You need to remember to do that.

@jenead

Hello,

After reading your post, I wonder if you could write a letter to him or suggest to him something like, " Honey, I appreciate you working and supporting our family, but I have a suggestion. Because you are able to control your schedule and you are able to work from home, I feel as though you are able to control your workload and help me out in parenting our children." For more advice, you should type in a search engine, "Help my husband doesn't help me with our kids".

I hope this helps!

@jenead

Hello!

I am basically a SAHD to a two-and-a-half year old girl and a one-in-a-half year old boy. Meanwhile, my wife is a lawyer whose firm accommodates her desire to work from home. Even though she does a superhuman job, I can definitely relate to how you describe the intense exhaustion occasional need to be by yourself!

I think I can help you with where your husband is coming from. I think he is feeling a lot of pressure about his business. For him, he doesn't think he is being bad to the girls by making those comments to you. He probably is thinking that he would let the girls down if he isn't successful with his business. How would you generally describe his relationship with the girls?

For some background, I tried to start my own business about a year ago (we brough in a babysitter 4 days a week). It didn't go as I planned the weight of that pressure began to make me somewhat rude to my wife and more distant from our kids. I felt guilty being around the kids because my business being a disappointment made me feel like I was letting them down. My wife and I improved our situation by revisiting our expectations and timelines for my business, and readjusting our division of household duties.

What would you think of him if he told you he was having difficulty with starting his business? Are you sure he knows how you would react? I was stunned by how understanding and supportive my wife was when I brought this topic up to her.

So, yeah, he may be having trouble bringing up what is really weighing on him. I think he responded rudely because he interpreted your request for him to watch the kids as a lack of empathy for his feelings and his business dreams (even though he probably hasn't expressed those feelings to you 💁).

What if you did a few hours a week helping with some business tasks and he gave you a few hours watching the girls?

Are there any activities you could set up for him and the girls? Like ballet, gym, or art classes?

Rhetorically, you may want to phrase it as "cherishing time with the little girls" rather than "helping the wife" 😉