Parents divorce affecting holidays
My parents recently split up and now that the holiday season is starting it’s beginning to affect things big time. This is my first time having to choose who I want to spend the holidays with and I just don’t want to choose. I hate the idea of spending the holidays without one of my parents, I’d rather just not celebrate at all. No matter what I pick one of them will be upset and I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just don’t know what to do. :(
@courteousOcean9942
It seems there was a formatting issue with my post, it should be fixed now:
Hello, I'm really sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation, especially during the holiday season. It's completely understandable that the recent separation of your parents is making this time particularly difficult for you.
Having to navigate the holidays while feeling torn between your parents is undoubtedly a tough position to be in. It's clear that you care deeply for both of them, and the idea of causing any distress to either is understandably distressing for you. One suggestion could be to consider a rotation, spending one holiday with one parent and the next with the other. This way, you can ensure that you're sharing meaningful moments with both of them without the pressure of having to choose.
It's important to remember that the situation you're facing is not your responsibility, and your parents are understanding individuals who likely want what's best for you. They may appreciate your honesty about your feelings and the desire to navigate this period in a way that feels comfortable for everyone involved.
Another suggestion could be to have an open and honest conversation with both of your parents about your feelings. Expressing your desire to spend time with both of them and your concerns about causing any trouble might help them understand your perspective.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your own well-being during this time, I'm here to support you as you navigate through this challenging time. Feel free to share any thoughts or concerns you may have 💛
@courteousOcean9942
It is difficult and you choosing one does not mean you do not love/ care for the other parent...
there will be other holidays or events that you can choose the person you want to at that time.... even if you speak to them separately tell them they have put you in an awkward position and you want to be upfront that the having to make choices/ or pick this over that is causing you anxiety and stress.
They were aware that items like this would come up after the divorce.
They should not blame you or play tug of war for your affection either as ... this was a decision they made and bet they did not consult you on it.
@courteousOcean9942
I am really sorry that you had to go through such traumatic experience of seeing your parents split. Over the top the thought of having to celebrating holidays with just one parent could be overwhelming you. I see that you tried talking with them but it didn't work. I can feel your trembling emotions through the post.
You have the power to be strong. We are here with you to support. I am sure you will be able to decide what is best for you..
Sorry to hear you're going though yet that. Is it possible to do one day with one, one day with the other? Eg xmas eve or boxing day?
My parents split up this summer… I get how you feel , but also I have to cus my little sister
@courteousOcean9942 Wow that's so sad ocean! Damn I'm so sorry you have been put in an awful situation like this where you're being made to pick if you'd want your right hand or your left hand when both of them are equally important to you! Holidays are a time when you want to spend your time with your loved ones and be happy! To put you in a position to pick one over the other instead of making an arrangement to spend it together with you, seems like a horrible thing to do to you. It must have been so sad already that you had to pick one parent over the other now them being upset is probably made you feel guilty too! You should never have to shoulder all of that alone, it's truly sad to have been put in a place like that :(
@courteousOcean9942 Hello. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through something like that. Have trust that you will make the best decision.You are in control of everything and you have the power to make the holidays something really special maybe by trying to communicate with both of your parents.
@courteousOcean9942 so sorry
@courteousOcean9942
im sorry to hear you’re going through this. Holidays can be tough, and having divorced parents doesn’t make it any easier. All you can do is focus on what makes you happy, and make sure to let your parents know you still love them both. Separation can be tough at first but focusing on how much you love them and just simply being around for them is all you can do. Focus on the little things everyday that make you happy and your parents seeing you happy will definitely make them happy!