@quickwittedCamp7013 Hi there!
I don't presume to know you or your husband's
personalities, or the dynamic in your relationship. But I can empathize
with your frustration and your want and need to force him to acknowledge
the reality he's choosing to ignore and the responsibilities he refuses
to accept. I have one just like that, only I'm not so sure it's as much
laziness as it is a lack of any amount of incentive.
Nah. It's laziness, too. 😉
But I felt the need to butt in here to say just a few things:
- I
so admire you if you can go through with your plan. I tried it and he
didn't care in the least, so needless to say he didn't change at
all, either. So eventually I couldn't stand it anymore, and took charge
again, cleaned up everything, etc, etc. (Of course, I'm also a control
freak, so that's my innate behavior anyway, and I'm sure I would have
held out longer than I did if I didn't have the need to control of every
minuscule thing that's within 100 miles.) 😳
- I'd suggest coming up with some kind of Plan B in case your Plan A gets the same results mine did.
- @selfconfidentTiger8983 had some great suggestions...in a perfect world, that is. My husband not only thinks he doesn't need marriage counseling or therapy, he FIRMLY believes he does absolutely nothing that warrants changing or correcting. How can you convince someone like that otherwise? The answer is you CAN'T. So, if I may edit Tiger's suggestion to - You may want to consider therapy just for yourself. It could help you determine if you can accept what you've lived with for thirty years and continue to live with it even longer, or if it's time to move on. But if there's no love lost between the two of you, why stay and continue to be frustrated and upset all the time?
- This is the last, I promise! 😁 These are extremely wise words, but unfortunately, I can't recall where I heard them to give credit. And I try (but fail miserably) to live by them:
PEOPLE WILL ONLY TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TREATED.
It's a hard truth to face, but it is truth. And keep in mind you've allowed this behavior for 30 years. Understandably, you haven't liked or appreciated the behavior, but you've allowed it.
Of course, on the flip side:
I firmly believe women are turned INTO "nags", and I base that conclusion on the fact that if:
A) the man the woman is nagging, did what needed to be done on his own initiative in the first place, then
B) there would be nothing to nag about!
And on THAT note, I'll say goodnight, wish QuickWitted the best of luck, and everyone a very pleasant weekend! 🌹
🐻