My family os beyond toxic

hi @Oceanthinking8455 😭 your story sounds terrible!! parents should be there for their children, love them, and take care of them. not actively seek to hurt them!

you are really smart by noticing this, and trying to get some independence. but it didn't work, you said. and its hard to be independent when you have a physical illness that requires the help of others.

i too was dependent on my parents. they weren't as bad as yours. they didn't actively seek to hurt me all the time. but they did stuff they shouldn't have done. they hurt me, maybe because that's what their parents did to them. i have a auto immune disorder, and my mother came along to every doctors visit. when i was sick, i needed her to take care of me. when i made money, it went to my father. he said he'll give it back, but i know it wont see the light of day. one day, I decided that i needed my independence. i needed to choose my own life. i secretly opened a bank account. i was terrified! for my doctors, i changed the number from my mothers to my cell phone. i had some visits without their knowledge. i was diagnosed with another issue, without their knowledge. when getting a new job, i went to interviews without letting them know. i only told them after i confirmed with my boss that i was taking the job.

the way you are living now, is not normal. but you gotta outsmart your parents. i suggest you make a list of things that you want to be doing. tackle 1 item at a time. do it smartly. yes, theyll get mad. yes, theyll hurt you for it! but youll be gaining your independence. its easier said then done. let some friends in on your case so they can help you and support you. try imagining a life without your mother, and take some action in that direction.

you sound like you could have been my sister in some ways. i dont know what to say. this is terrible. if you don't like my suggestions, then just take it as caring and support.

keep us posted, ❤️ Jo

Hi @jotee thank you for your words, sorry but i didnt received any notification so im answering now. Its so complicsted and sick my mind hurts, but for real, physically. I dont know why im in this place and why im so different than them. Theyre sick. To a point i cant comprend. Sadly im so tired sometimes, phyisically and mentally, that i feel like i cant do anything anymroe. I have moments where i think of ******* myself for real. Its not fair. Its really not faair to live like this. They always find a way to bring me back in the abuse. And im weak beocuse its been years of it. And i have a condition. And my "friends" thst i tried to talk with minimize it and say im exaggerating it, beocuse they cant even comprend what that is. They dont even immagine that it can exist something like that. Idk whst to do anymore .... thank you for your words anyway