Difficult Mum

Hi Kingfisher~ the reason why some others characterize your filial relationship with your mom as being abusive is because she never gave you a space to flourish and thrive. If parents bring their problems to their children, and stresses them out instead, that's not proper parenting. That doesn't mean your mom is malicious, but it still can be abusive to you. I will encourage to develop relationships outside of that with your mom so that you have others to rely on more (or maybe you already do, and that's great). That way, hopefully you can slowly distant yourself from mom while still supporting her accordingly.

Good luck! 💕

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply means alot💞

Hello,

I totally understand. I've had a similar experience with my mother. You said after talking with your mother you felt worse than you did before. I had the same situation with my mother and I got really tired of it. After the confrontation she stated that she "didn't mean to hurt me" but she wouldn't stopped doing it.

So, I tried the whole distancing myself from her and initially her reaction was to play the victim and make me feel guilty about my emotions. My reaction to this was to NOT TAKE THE BAIT. I responded by describing how her reaction was victimizing herself and she wasn't taking responsibility for her toxic behavior, which I was not going to take part in any longer.

After some time she understood her actions and I do not hesitate in bringing her toxic behavior to her attention. This is what you have to be consistent in and don't feel guilty about distancing yourself.

I know it's difficult, especially if your mother is the only person you feel you have to talk to. But if the person you love doesn't know they're hurting you then they will continue those actions. It's you who has to put a stop to them.