I wanna gain maybe? 😮💨
So like I’ve had a unhealthy connection with food and my body like what I eat directly affects what I look like 😀 and that led me to very tight restriction and getting down to <edit> at 5’1 which isn’t terrible but still underweight
my parents have been threatening to take me to a doctor specifically to get my weight checked 😒 SO I’ve been trying to gain (that and also my friends said I was getting flat and making fun of my “hollow” face) currently at <edit> and realizing I don’t look <edit> anymore 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯like i feel fat like obese every time I look in the mirror which isn’t new but like now I can’t weigh myself and see a number in the <edit> to comfort me so I’ve wanting to lose again even tho my goal is <edit>
i have no one to talk to and no support fr It’s so frustrating 
@Ilikecatsandmitski
It sounds like your parents are concerned about your weight and your eating.
I imagine you must be worried about gaining weight even though you are working on changing it in a positive way.
What kind of thoughts do you have on how you can comfort yourself and ease perhaps the anxiety with reaching a healthy weight for your body?
Have you considered joining a support group to have community with others struggling with eating disorders and the challenges you are having with eating and weight?
I completely understand what you are talking about.
i also have a hard time with the number. I am took me 5’1 and 57 years old now and also still looking for someone to talk with and support. Why they are so difficult to find I have no idea. I am so sorry about your parents and that they are trying to control you in some respect. That kind of control makes everything more difficult and puts a great burden on your relationship with them. Gaining weight is a difficult topic for me as well, I am trying and scared at the same time. Have you ever spoken with someone around the topic of an eating disorder?
I know that I do and the challenges are many.
Im willing to try and listen but I am not a replacement for a therapist or mediator with your parents.
@emotional232023
I'm glad you are posting and sharing, as well as here encouraging. This is a difficult journey, but so worth the journey.
