Accontability thread - week 30/2024 (July 22-28)
Hi everyone,
For the past couple of weeks, Phoenix22k, enigmaticOcean8813, and I have been messaging each other in this community to support one another and share our daily progress (or doubts). Unfortunately, after two weeks of continuous replies, we realized it was becoming a bit challenging to keep track of all the responses and posts. When replying to a specific post, the response appears directly underneath, while replying to the main topic (accountability) pushes responses to the bottom. Although this system makes sense, after many replies, especially when using the 7Cups app instead of the desktop version, it was becoming difficult to follow all the responses. There was a real risk of missing something important and not providing each other with the right support and responses.
Therefore, we've decided to create a new post for each week. By doing this, and seeing new accountability posts regularly, we also hope that others might see them and want to join our support group. I imagine the previous post, with so many replies just among us, might seem intimidating and not leave much room for new contributions.
All this long (and boring) introduction is to say... Welcome to the new accountability thread for week 30/2024, from Monday, July 22nd to Sunday, July 28th.
@Phoenix22k
@enigmaticOcean8813
Yay! This has been so wonderful and I'm grateful for all those out there reading and supporting. It's just so nice to realize .. I'm not alone.
Accountability 7/21
Was a good day for the most part. Breakfast was bland... Then I had coffee... Bland .. gum... Oh no. So I took an at home COVID test which was positive. Other than taste and smell and feeling tired though I feel fine. I got a doctor's opinion and fortunately as I'm not a high risk factor they recommended rest and monitoring symptoms for a day.
Otherwise, my meals were all healthy and I kept them down. In a sick twist... Not being able to taste anything didn't cause nearly as strong or triggers 😅.
Had a pretty good week last week with my diet, emotions, and recognizing temptation vs. actual hunger.
Plan today, 7/22 is to rest, recover, and have nutritious meals.. even if I can't taste them.
One day at a time.
@Turtleonmyleftarm,
Great leadership!!! I can't stand using the phone app for this very reason. I wish I could at least provide a review - a modern app would allow us to stay in close contact, whereas the current app is a disincentive for me. This is a good solution.
Kudos! My update - not so good - will follow in a bit.
Accountability 7/22.
Many thanks to @Turtleonmyleftarm for the idea of a weekly thread.
While the smartphone app is really handy to have to stay in constant contact with my friends, the user experience is not the same as a desktop or laptop, so a new weekly thread will make it easier to keep track of and not lose important information.
I hope that others will join in as they follow our daily and weekly challenges.
I must have missed a couple of reports from you, @Turtle, in the last couple of days. For this, I apologize for not responding. I see this morning's report from @Phoenix22k that yesterday was a good day, relatively.
I am sorry that you had a positive COVID test, but these days COVID isn't what it used to be, I suppose.
From what everyone tells me, a mild case can be not much different than a cold or a flu.
My wife and I have been lucky that we have escaped COVID completely since 2020. Hard to believe.
Anyways, I am dictating this accountability report because I have such trouble typing at times, and that's just a consequence of my neurological problems, pothing to do with anorexia.
I have been trying to eat a little bit more, taking in more protein in the form of more chicken, which I hadn't normally eaten. It causes constipation, which I have been battling for weeks.
There's more chicken in my future tonight. ☹️
I have doubled up on protein powder shakes. One complete one in the morning, and then one that I space out over the rest of the day, per the primary care doctor's recommendation. Spacing it, she believes, will help increase stomach size and increase appetite.
That's nice, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I still don't have a problem with food.
For example, last night, I went to eat half a piece of cheesecake, but skimmed off the whipped cream, which I don't like. Ate the cheesecake and left the crust. There's no reason not to eat the crust at my weight. Of course, when I weigh myself this morning, my weight is down from yesterday.
Not feeling great today. Some kind of a headache and I don't know what it's from - I think I overslept.
I think we all did pretty well last week, even with the challenges that we face individually and collectively.
I think @Phoenix22k summed it up pretty well in this statement, recognizing temptation versus actual hunger. I would love to know, personally, what temptation is. I would love to know what hunger is, for that matter. I guess that's because my stomach is so small. Maybe after I get through this period of trying to enlarge my stomach, that I'll have a better idea of what it will be like.
One day at a time is true.
I wish you all the best.
Until tomorrow.
@enigmaticOcean8813
It sounds like you're introducing more proteins and food into your diet which is great! I'm sorry to hear that it does cause digestive issues, but hopefully you can find an alternative that works. While I'm not plant based I have heard several stories about how the diet has changed people's lives and health.
Excellent work with the cheesecake as well! Compromising to please your mind and body I believe is a huge success.
Hopefully.... You didn't curse yourself and your headache isn't COVID related! Perhaps try some extra water, I find that extra caffeine and or dehydration sometimes causes my headaches.
Best of luck Tuesday!
Hi Phoenix and Ocean,
I am sorry @Phoenix22k for your Covid symptoms. I hope it remains mild and that you will feel better soon.
I also hope that since you don’t feel the real taste of food, it will help you with binging, and that once it all passes you will not feel the urge to taste more food. I am cheering you on and praying that this negative situation will turn into a positive one and will give you the chance to learn something more about your hunger clues.
Speaking of hunger clues, @enigmaticOcean8813 I didn’t know you weren’t feeling your hunger clues. In spite of my condition, I am actually hungry all the time but force myself not to eat. I didn’t know you could actually not feel hungry, had it always been like this? Or did you start losing your hunger clues after some time or after other of your surgeries and issues?
Anyway, great job with the added food and chicken. Not the tastier meat I am afraid, but it should be easily digestible due to your IBS… Keep it up! And great job also with the cheesecake. Even if you didn’t eat all of it, I still see it as a win! Cakes and sweets are always difficult for us to accept so I think you did great. Even if it wasn’t a “conplete” step, a small step is still moving you forward.
And here’s my accountability for Monday 22nd.
Rest day for me from my training. Ate what I was supposed to eat, except for a little bit of oil I didn’t add to my plate tonight, but I restricted just a tiny bit (like 5 grams). Still a win if I think about all the other things I ate and if I compare myself to weeks ago.
Tonight I had my session with my psychologist and now I feel drained and exhausted, it’s always like that after therapy, I don’t know why. I already prepared breakfast, mid-morning snack and lunch for tomorrow using all the ingredients and quantities, so more than half of the day tomorrow should be good too. I find that preparing things in advance doesn’t make me sway from the plan so I keep meal prepping daily.
I think these could be my 5 cents for today. If you haven’t yet, maybe give a try to meal prepping!
@turtleonmyleftarm
Nice work Monday! I think the oil addition in itself wasn't a major thing to add, but I know how even these small deviations may trigger your brain so I'm proud of you for adding it and sticking to the day!
I meal prep all my breakfast and lunches for the week and it really does help! It was typically dinner when I didn't plan that I would have more temptations. I've worked on this and have started writing out at least what I plan to have for dinner.
Kudos for your therapy session as well. Mental workouts are often just as hard as the physical. I hope it was productive and helpful for you
Keep it uppp!
Accountability 7/22
Yesterday turned out pretty well. I slept quite a good bit and also kept down my healthy meals. Taste seems to slowly be returning. My thoughts around food definitely lessened because of the sense deprivation.
Overall I'm finding more strength in being able to control my eating. It is still rather hard at times but I keep focusing on my small victories that I had and telling myself I can do it.
Oh and I didn't even know there was a desktop 7 cups! I'll have to look into it.
Hope you all find success and peace today.
Hi @Phoenix22k,
I am happy to read you managed to rest and eat well. Our bodies really need this to recover, even if luckily covid isn’t as bad as it was a few years ago…
You’re doing great focusing on the little daily victories, and you definitively can do it!!!
Looking forward to reading your next accountability post and hopefully seeing your health is improving.
Sending love!
Accountability for Tuesday 23rd
Had quite a "strong" start of the day with a technical run workout. Same as last tuesday, so 2 km (1.24 miles) of warm up, 8 sprints of 200 m (0.12 miles) followed by 1 minute of walking, and finished with 2 km (1.24 miles) of recovery run. My time, pace and heart rate all improved, so it's the confirmation my body needed the fuel to work properly. I needed the food to function.
I also feel less tired, I don't feel weak or have dizzy spells during the afternoons.
So it's a win.
I look at myself and see I am already fuller. My belly is all I can look at.
This is definitively NOT a win.
But my passion for sport is what's pushing me at the moment to try and keep this up.
My psychologist yesterday told me to try and trust my body and give it time, that it's probably inflammation and bloating caused by the different way I am eating and stress.
I had hoped all the new food would go to my muscles and not anywhere else, b ut it seems my body had different plans.
Anyway the feeling of being able to improve is nice so I'll try and remember this feeling everytime my brain tells me I am fat or that I should not eat...
@Turtleonmyleftarm
Awesome workout and stats! A definite win! Are you looking into doing any 5k races or anything near you?
I am still proud of you for sticking to your diet and navigating these challenging emotions. Know that you are not alone when looking at the mirror... We often see things that nobody else does, or even cares about, but it is still tremendously hard. It's also frustrating when you are doing everything "right" but maybe have one extra glass of water and it changes your image of yourself.
In time I do think that your body will get more accustomed to your diet and eating more, and perhaps it will retain in other areas such as muscle tissue, which also may be being built and perhaps be a reason for inflammation? I'm certainly not a doctor but seems to make a little sense.
Anyway, I'm happy for your victory, and just want you to know that the mirror is my enemy too and you are not alone.
@Phoenix22k
Hi Phoenix,
No at the moment I don’t have any goal or competition planned.
At the beginning of this year I did a very nice run in Venice, it’s called “Venice
Night Trail” – 16 km and 51 bridges. There was the competitive race that
started first and then, a little later, there were us 'ordinary' people with no
results in mind, running or walking. I was still new to running and had never
run such a long distance, but the city was so beautiful and the people around so
engaging that I ended up running almost the whole distance. Then there were “traffic”
jams in some of the narrower streets due to the large number of people, which
forced us to stop or walk, so I could catch my breath. I won't hide the fact
that I wouldn't mind doing it again next year, and this time being one of the
first to start (so I’d be in the competitive race), so that I wouldn't find
myself in traffic jams and could finish with a good time. But it’s going to be next
April, so I’ve got plenty of time to train.
At the moment I can do 5k in under 30 minutes, and I am not far from 10 k in 1h, I think I should be able to do it in a couple of weeks (depending on the weather mainly. It’s so hot and humid here these days that it really slows you down)
@Turtleonmyleftarm
That sounds like a beautiful race! And under 30 min for a 5k is great! It always depends on the course. I think that would be a nice little extra challenge for yourself if you need it. I wouldn't worry about joining the "competitive" slot too much unless you really wanted to. I find it just as enjoyable to do the open races, less pressure haha.
Really cool! I'm in the USA so not quite as picturesque as Venice for the most part.
@Phoenix22k
The competitive part is just to be able to start a little sooner and so not getting stuck in the "traffic" of people. This year I had to stop for more than 10 minutes in a very small alleyway because there was too much people 🤣
@Turtleonmyleftarm
Oh my goodness YES! That is also why I sign up for the earlier times in my races! It gets especially bad for the obstacle races when people stop and stare at them. Which I understand, and I get it, they can be intimidating. But not worth adding another 30 minutes to my time.
It has been so refreshing chatting with you. I see many similarities in our personalities and habits.
Keep growing each day!
@Turtleonmyleftarm,
I am so impressed with your passion for sport and your discipline with your running workouts. I have seen in my own case that my workouts at home have gotten less and less over the past few years. I still have some small workouts each day, mind you, but they are simpler and simpler. I think it's a great win and I applaud you on your technical run workout for today.
I think it's good that you have something like the sports pushing you and giving you motivation to keep going. It probably helps provide some motivation in eating and maintaining a proper diet, but I suppose this is something you have and will explore with your psychologist.
The one thing that I have added to my diet that I read about recently is collagen peptides. You can find them in many different forms. Collagen peptides are the basis for forming muscles and bones. I thought in my case, because I am so far underweight, that is something that I should add, but I wanted to share it with both of you. Maybe it's something you wanted to look into.
There are some formulations where you mix it with room temperature water and then you can add it to other drinks. Right now, I'm taking a collagen peptide drink that has minerals and I just add cold water and drink it throughout the day so I make sure that I get my 20 ounces in. At least I make sure I get something in there. I don't know if it's making a difference, but I know I'm not getting any worse.
Not much good to report here, but I'm so glad and my hat's off to you for the strong start today and maintaining the passion for sports and maybe give some thought or look up, see what you can read about collagen peptides.
@enigmaticOcean8813
Hi! Thank you
for your kind message!
I am impressed you still have small workouts everyday, no matter if they’re
simple. The important thing is just keep moving, as it is really beneficial for
our bodies and overall health. And with your spine issues etc. I think it must
be very important that you keep it light and safe, but at the same time that
you keep doing it. So great job to you too!
I had never
heard about collagen peptides.
Next week I have the first appointment with my new dietician (the one from the
ED recovery centre) and maybe I’ll try asking him/her if it could be something
worth adding for me too. Thanks for sharing the information!
@Turtleonmyleftarm,
Here is a perplexity search on Collagen Peptides
Based on the available research, collagen peptide supplements appear to be generally safe and potentially effective for certain uses, though more high-quality studies are still needed:
Safety:
Collagen peptides are considered possibly safe when taken orally[9][11]. Studies have shown they can be safely used in doses up to 10 grams daily for up to 6 months, with side effects being rare[9]. No serious adverse effects have been reported in clinical trials[12].
Potential effectiveness:
- Skin health: Some studies indicate collagen supplements may improve skin hydration, elasticity, and reduce wrinkles in older adults and those with dry skin[9][10]. However, larger trials are still needed to confirm these effects.
- Joint health: There is some evidence collagen may help improve symptoms of osteoarthritis[9].
- Bone health: Collagen supplements may potentially support bone health, though more research is needed[11].
- Muscle strength: While collagen does not seem to improve leg muscle strength, it may improve hand-grip strength[9].
Important considerations:
- The FDA does not regulate collagen supplements, so quality and contents can vary between products[11].
- Many collagen supplements contain additional ingredients beyond just collagen peptides[10].
- The body breaks down collagen into amino acids, so targeted benefits to specific areas are not guaranteed[11].
- A balanced, protein-rich diet combined with exercise may support the body's natural collagen production without supplements[12].
In conclusion, while collagen peptide supplements appear relatively safe, their effectiveness is still being studied. For specific health goals, it's advisable to consult a healthcare provider before starting any new supplement regimen. A nutritious diet and healthy lifestyle remain the foundation for supporting the body's natural collagen production and overall health.
Citations:
[1] https://www.walmart.com/ip/Live-Conscious-Collagen-Peptides-Hydrolyzed-Powder-11-g-82-Servings-2-Pack/893484699?selectedSellerId=101075509&wmlspartner=wlpa
[2] https://health.nativepath.com/special-offer-nativepath-collagen-free-gift-1410
[3] https://www.iherb.com/pr/live-conscious-collagen-peptides-unflavored-16-oz-454-g/143161?ccode=us&currcode=USD&fld=1&langcode=en-US
[4] https://www.wildfoods.co/products/collagen-peptides-protein?variant=13866965729339
[5] https://ancientnutrition.com/products/collagen-peptides-protein-powder-unflavored-14-servings?variant=39419623866438
[6] https://www.target.com/p/sports-research-collagen-peptides-unflavored-2-lbs-907-g/-/A-83049412?AFID=google&CPNG=Health+-+Target+Plus&adgroup=94-2
[7] https://www.microingredients.com/products/marine-collagen-protein-powder-1-pound?currency=USD&variant=44935200669923
[8] https://www.truegether.com/listing.html?id=USER.f69a7023-fc67-4bba-8a65-a7eb63906db2
[9] https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-1606/collagen-peptides
[10] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/considering-collagen-drinks-and-supplements-202304122911
[11] https://www.webmd.com/diet/collagen-health-benefits
[12] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/collagen
[13] https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/should-you-take-collagen-supplements
Accountability 7/23
No major changes on the COVID front. I slept rather well, woke up and got in my Workout (Shoulders/Biceps/Triceps) and my usual 1.5 mile run. To still feel fine enough to do this with "covid" well I can thank my body for the discipline and great heart/lungs.
Taking the next few days off from Summer School teaching. Partly, because I want to enjoy more of my summer break, and I also don't want to risk getting other people sick. Only next week remains so I figure I will return to it at that time.
Some other emotional challenges came up today though. My sister invited me to an amusement park with my nephews and was wondering why I didn't want to join after summer school. (This was before my Covid diagnosis). I told her I would think about it, but likely wouldn't stay long. I tend to enjoy my "free" afternoons, and since I get up at 4:30 to workout, then would have work until 3:00, I really didn't want to go to the park for another three hours, I just want to go home and relax. I bring this up because this happens rather often. Not just the park, but other events ect.
I do not have kids, and am unmarried, and genuinely enjoy my independence. I also take pride and love my Morning workouts, which are also why I don't like to be out late. While I love my nephews and family, part of me feels bad for not being with them more.
I just am wrestling with being "justified" in how I like to take care of my body but that it sometimes comes at an expense to others. Am I selfish? I know it is something I need to work on finding balance and acceptance with, so hoping to think this over today.
Anyway, Diet was a success again! Just trying to figure out "who" I am and want to be
@Phoenix22k
Hi Phoenix,
Good to hear Covid isn’t impacting your life that much and that you’re still
able to do what makes you feel good (workout, run etc.)
And great
job with your successful eating day!!! Kudos to you!
I don’t
think you’re selfish for choosing to put yourself first.
You love your sister and nephews, that’s absolutely clear to me (and I am sure
they know this too).
But we only have a specific amount of “strength and resources” we can count on,
to live our lives in a healthy and satisfying way.
If our jobs and other activities already drain quite a lot of that, it is only
wise that we decide to save that remaining energy.
Imagine it
like money. You don’t want to spend all your money everyday, otherwise once you’ll
really need something extra you’ll find yourself having none left.
This is hard for me too, I really do see a connection between us here, as I am
the first to avoid going out, eating out etc, so I feel a bit hypocritical
writing this. But maybe putting it in writing will help you and help me to
realise this once and for all.
Maybe we need to try and find a little bit more balance. We should save our
energy/strength/resources most of the days, and then once in a while we should
get out and use a little bit of that “money” we saved to enjoy ourselves. BUT
only if that really is an enjoyment for us.
I was thinking, would there be any other activity that could be more enjoyable for you that you could do with your sister and nephews, that will not make you stay up late and will still be a good thing to do together, instead of going to the amusement park? Like a early afternoon show at the cinema or something like that?
@Turtleonmyleftarm
I really appreciate your approach and views on my energy/resources. Part of it is also recognizing that we all have different values and are at different stages in our lives. I am putting a lot of energy and effort into healing right now, and am trying to focus on that. My sister is a great mom and her values are her kids for right now which I also get.
She is aware somewhat of my situation, but as most people I don't think they really "get" how challenging the day-to-day can be. I know she does appreciate when I am there, I just want to work on being there more. I'll have to try and think of some more opportunities that would fit both of our schedules. Maybe when she sees me putting forth this effort she will have a better idea that I want to be there, but have to be careful with how I spend my time right now.
Accountability for Wednesday 24th
Don’t have
much to say about today.
I ate what I was supposed to eat. I went to the gym during my lunch break and
trained well. Afternoon at work was a nightmare due to a product defect that
came out unexpectedly, but I think we came out of it very well. The only issue
is that I’ve got a few colleagues that are always negative, always complaining,
always thinking they’re the only ones doing thing right and everyone else (especially
me) do things the wrong way. But you know what? They can go and f themselves, I
am fed up of their behaviour and I don’t want to have my days ruined by them.
Dinner is always the meal I restrict a little bit. Yesterday I was supposed to eat 100 g of mozzarella cheese, and only ate 70 g. But I ate everything else, and all the meals, so the restrictions are really limited and small lately, I think it’s still a win.
Hope I’ll keep up with this trend.
Sending love to all of you!
@Turtleonmyleftarm
Big wins for Turtle today I would say! Sometimes the days when there is "not much to say" are good!
Big victory going to the gym during your lunch, a very productive way to spend your time, especially with the more proper nutrients you have been having. It sounds like your workout game is improving and you are feeling better about this!
Ah the negative colleagues... I'm sorry to hear they impacted your day but am proud of you for how you handled it and did not let that ruin your diet. Those types are in every work space and I do my best to avoid them and just ignore their remarks. Sometimes I feel "anti-social" but it is not worth my sanity to hear their constant complaints. I hope that your supervisors see your quality work and perhaps reward you for this.
You are making such big strides and have so much courage! While you did not eat all 100 g, yes I think the 70g is reasonable, but I don't want to get you in trouble with your dietician either :)
Hope you have a great day and that work goes better! Take out your frustration with an extra lap!
Accountability 7/25
Another rather good day. Sense of taste and smell slowly returning. I had a talk with my sister about yesterday and she was understanding. I did say that next week I will go to the amusement park with my nephews, even if it is after work. I know I can do it, and once I do I will enjoy it, part of it is just getting over the fear of what food will be there ect. But I'm going to take this as a personal challenge and opportunity to grow.
Was able to get some work done from home and do some cleaning. Oddly enough this often helps curb my temptations. These too have been less which is nice, I don't feel myself battling them as much.
Diet was good, and I'm looking forward to my new yogurt treat mid-day now as well as dinner. In the past I used to be more "afraid" to eat as I had difficulty stopping, but I'm getting better at recognizing these feelings.
Have a great day everyone!
@Phoenix22k
What an amazing post!
It made me so happy reading it. I don't know what made me happier. Knowing that you're feeling better, or that you're going to the amusement park, or the fact that your eating habits are getting better and that you're now enjoying your mid-day yogurt treat and dinner and you're getting better at recognizing you hunger clues and binge feelings.
I am so proud of you!!!!
Accountability 7/25
Yesterday was good again. My body/mind seems to be getting better at recognizing when I'm full and not going for seconds. I just need to get over the feeling of feeling "fat" after eating a good meal, especially in the evening. What I have noticed is that even this "feeling" has not really impacted my image or scale. So... it is all in my head.
Trying to work on comparing myself less to others. I do not use social media much, but when I am out and about I find myself being judgmental or wishing I had a certain look. I should instead focus on the journey that I am on and be satisfied with the progress I am making. But I can't help to always look in the mirror and feel like my face/cheeks are puffy, or I wish I had bigger arms/chest muscles ect. My workout plan is solid, I'm in great shape all considered, I just need to embrace that and continue to believe in myself.
Patience...
@Phoenix22k
Hi Phoenix,
It’s
amazing how many steps ahead you’ve done in such a small period of time.
I am so proud of you for being able to recognize your hunger clues and
understanding when your ED voice is trying to trick you.
You are such an inspiration for me, we’re both struggling with our body image but
I am sure that if I were to see you I would only see a perfect person and that
I’d consider your body to be perfect. So whenever your head tells you you’re
not perfect or you catch yourself comparing your body with someone else’s,
please think: “Turtle would see me as perfect, I am perfect”.
@Phoenix22k,
Hi Phoenix, thanks so much for sending me the message. For some reason, I haven't been seeing the community messages that there was activity I really haven't had the chance to check.
We've been getting our house ready for sale and there have been showings and on top of it, my wife and I are planning a trip to get together with our kids and grandkids and so life has been pretty hectic but I do have a few minutes to check in and I want to thank you so so much for thinking of me and reaching out.
I am so pleased to see that you've had a couple of good days that your sense of taste and smell are slowly returning that you're managing your food temptations that you're able to be with family. I mean these are all really good things and I'm headed into a very similar period where I'm going to be with our kids and their children and I'm going to have to manage food that is more than I want to eat and really probably just don't want to eat.
I've had my ups and downs here. I still am struggling but I'm holding my own. I'm not going to have a computer with me so I'll be battling the smartphone app which I hate and I'll do my best to stay in touch with you and Turtle during the few days that we are away.
We're leaving tomorrow and I'll try to check in when I can. All the best.
eO8813