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New to the Eating Disorders Community in February 2019? Say Hello here!

User Profile: Raspberrycheesecake
Raspberrycheesecake February 10th, 2019

It's February 10 and we haven't yet welcomed our new members in this wonderful month of February! So without further ado, please introduce yourselves if you're joining our little community this month and let us get to know you!

Can't wait to hear from you and get to know you all better!heart You can click here (press) to find a list of ways to get involved in the community!laugh

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User Profile: RubberDaisies
RubberDaisies February 11th, 2019

@Raspberrycheesecake

Hello! My name is RubberDaisies, and I'm 18 years old. I struggle with undiagnosed bulimia of low frequency, or some sort of other eating disorder, I'm not a doctor.

I'm not going to talk about weight in this thread because that can be triggering but I'm glad to be here, thank you for having me. :)

User Profile: GhostlyLilian
GhostlyLilian February 11th, 2019

Hi, I'm Lilian, 23.
I'm in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder, and lately I miss it a lot...

User Profile: kodadoesthings
kodadoesthings February 14th, 2019

Hi, I'm Koda. I'm 16 and I've been struggling from varying ED's for about 4 years now. It's recently been getting a bit worse but I hope this group can help me.

User Profile: mariposa0104
mariposa0104 February 15th, 2019

Hi, I'm Mari and I've had an eating disorder for nearly 6 years.

User Profile: unassumingWatermelon2751
unassumingWatermelon2751 February 17th, 2019

Hello! I'm 15, nearly 16, and I'm eastern asian speicifically Chinese. I'm really familiar with eating disorders because it's being taught in my school since 6th grade and it's a common norm in my community. I live overseas and never grew up in China but we still have this thing where being "fat" shouldn't be a thing. I may live around foreigners where fat is curvy but as a Chinese teen, my mom calls me fat.

However, I grew up being skinny. During my days in grade school, I would barely gain weight and couldn't even reach 20 kg. Now that I'm in 9th grade, I'm double 20 kg, probably 42 kg and 160 cm in height that makes me underweight but my parents still call me fat, mostly my mother which isn't really skinny herself.

I don't see myself fat but sometimes I do whenever someone says that I'm getting fatter. A year ago, I limited myself with food and this month of February, I skip breakfast and lunch. I don't intentionally skip them, my mom won't let me eat during those times.

If my mom isn't watching, I probably sneak in snacks in my room then watch Netflix but I get beaten up if my mom caught me doing so.

When I checked my weight a few hours ago, I lost 5 kg than my last check up, from 42 kg to 37 kg. My mom isn't even worried about my drastic weight loss, she said she's even proud and I look prettier than I used to be. I'm concerned about what's happening to me...

1 reply
User Profile: GhostlyLilian
GhostlyLilian February 18th, 2019

@unassumingWatermelon2751

I'm sorry your mother is doing this to you! sad has she got any idea of how harmful it is for your health? You're so brave for trying to find every way you can to keep eating, please keep doing it, you have to eat! Hugs?

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User Profile: gentleMelon6076
gentleMelon6076 February 18th, 2019

Hi I'm Lily and I am 14. I know I seem young to be talking about this but I need to tell someone who knows the feeling you know? So, I have undiagnosed anorexia and bulimia. All I remember from 8th grade is that I was 90 lbs. I used to go a week without eating and then start eating so much to prove that I was okay. I ate so much that I felt disgusting about myself and forced myself to throw it all up. I guess I am still doing the same thing actually. I am so ready to finally be oka but I don't know if I can just fix myself just like that.

I guess it's my mom that kinda made this a problem because she says Im exactly like her. And when I look at picturesof her when she was my age she was so skinny and so fit and so gorgeous. I just wanna look like that do I don't let her down even more than I already do.

2 replies
User Profile: GhostlyLilian
GhostlyLilian February 20th, 2019

@gentleMelon6076

Awwww don't worry: there's no "too young" to talk about eating disorders. There are 8 years olds children battling full blown eating disorders. It's very good you acknowledged it and are trying to do better. I know in this disease the hardest thing is wanting to heal, because there's a part of you that does not want, and it's really you against yourself. I'm with the part of you that wants to get better and heal smiley come on, we can do it

User Profile: GhostlyLilian
GhostlyLilian February 20th, 2019

@gentleMelon6076

Also, what does it mean "I don't want to let her down more than I already do"? Why do you think this? I don't know what kind of person your mum is, but I doubt she would prefer an ill child to a too-thin looking one. And if she does, SHE has a problem. I don't know if you only percieve you're letting her down or if she makes you think so, but this wouldn't be fair either. It's hurtful, I see why looking like she did is so important to you, seen that you think you're letting her down in everything else, but I honestly don't think you're really so good for nothing. I think you have so much more to offer and to live for. Did you consider talking to your mum about how you feel, even without bringing up the ED? Would it be possible?

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User Profile: kitten100
kitten100 February 20th, 2019

Hi everyone . I'm new here. I'm 24 with anorexia nervosa. I literally can't eat. Food just repulses me. I try so hard to eat because I feel horrible and I know it'll make me feel better. But every single bite is an effort and excruciating. I don't binge ever. The only thing I can try to eat without feeling completely disgusted is a cookie here and there. I'm so tired of feeling tired and so depressed and my joints hurting. I've cut off all of my relationships with anyone. I haven't been out of my house in weeks.

I used to not understand eating disorders. I always loved tasting food and feeling full. But then I wanted to loose weight so bad that I started not eating. Now I understand why people can't "just eat" with eating disorders. I've never been overweight. I was normal and healthy with a big cute butt. Now I'm underweight with no butt and everyone keeps telling me I'm too skinny. I still think I'm chunky and could loose in certain areas. But I know that's just the disease messing with my head.

I feel so much better if I can force myself to eat. So I don't understand why it's so hard for me. Like, why the hell do I choose to feel miserable and dread eating. It's so weird. I miss loving food.

1 reply
User Profile: GhostlyLilian
GhostlyLilian February 20th, 2019

@kitten100

ImI sorry kitten sad it got very bad... Isn't there really anything you feel like eating? Maybe you can try getting familiar with one thing at a time, like some bites of vegetable smoothie? Or something light/with a nice colour/tasteful/with a nice shape? Sometimes my eating disorders bring me to be rather disgusted and picky with food too, for example, one of the things that bothered me the most was cutlery getting dirty while I ate. I solved it eating with smaller cutlery, like using tea spoons instead of spoons so that I could make them come out of my mouth clean at every bite. Just an idea. Could things like this help you?

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