!!Vent! An experience with edtwt (and OSFED)

So.

In the course of six years I hated my body so bad I alternated restrictive behaviours to binges, purges and a lot of messy stuff which only led to keeping my barely normal weight constant.

And now, in the course of merely two months I decided to follow a full-ana diet, only to change two weeks later into my "final" decision: I am now working for a body who is physically strong and active, and, of course, skinny, but not in an excessive way.

Now 💀

only a few months ago, I had found out of edtwt through a forum and decided to get in it. They (we?) are a geoup of pro-ana and pro-mia people, essentially, pushing people to make the decision to lose weight in unhealthy ways. And I was so sure I wanted to acheive that, too.

What changed for me was trying sports again, for a mere hour. I liked the way I felt after. I felt stronger, and it felt good. I hadn't done a martial art since I was a child, I didn't remember how good it felt, I didn't understand how good doing sports makes you feel.

Of course, this didn't solve my problems entitely.

But damn, I'd like to show all those people in edtwt that ed's are just not the answer. Starving yourself won't make you happy, because it's phisically impossible. Strive for balance, and your body will reward you with a great amount of hormones that will make you feel better.

At least that's the plan for now. Perhaps when you start feeling phisically better, your mind will work more efficiently too, and you'll get a grip on your life. That's what I hope. That's what I must do right now.

Tomorrow's a different day, with new opportunities.

see you on the other side.

p.s. edtwt is just a bunch of people talking about stuff they know nothing about. I was a greatly active part of it, literally giving suggestions I myself knew nothing about. I mean it, it's useless, and a crazy idea.