I don't know what is wrong.
I know this might be to specific, but I'd like a response from anyone who can relate.
I'm a sensitive person who gets stressed easily. I think I was born stressed at this point. I hate it.
I just moved to a new city for college and to be honest, I'm falling apart. It is a big city and everything is great. It sounds weird because I wrote I was falling apart, right? I have meet great people, I got into college I have always wanted and everyone supports me but I'm a mess.
Little bit of a back story, I self harmed for 5 years, no one knew. I also struggle with food but you can't tell all of that when you look at me, outside I seem so happy.
I'm doing so much better then I did a few months ago but I feel like my heart can't take it anymore. I get fast heartbeats pretty often and when they pass I feel so drained. Sometimes they last a whole day and I can't control them by deep breathing. They come when I'm stressed but I'm always stressed. I get overstimulated al the time because I have so much things to do. I'm so tired and I'm scared that my depressive episodes will come back. I don't know how to control all the stress anymore. My head knows I'm okay and I'm doing great but my heart is sh!t, it gets fast all the time, even loud noises triggers it. I don't think I have anxiety though.
Can someone relate?
@decisivePal3541
It sounds like you are under a lot of stress even though you are doing better than you have been. Moving to a new place and going away to college can definitely create a lot of stress, even when it's something you've been wanting to do.
Have you been struggling with your eating since you moved there or is that going well? Have you made friends there or did you move there with friends from home? Sometimes having someone to connect with can be beneficial.
I can imagine that with everything that changed and all the things required with college that you have a lot on you right now with your studies. It sounds pretty overwhelming. How do you like your classes? What helps you when you are stressed and struggling? I've struggled with these things in the past a few times when I had a lot to do and carried a heavy class load. Using my time at when I best study, when I'm most productive and things like that really helped me. While I didn't experience everything you have shared, there are definitely some things that I can relate to in my past.
I hope you will feel more relaxed as time goes on and less stressed and your heart will slow down.
