Eating feels bad
Hi everyone!
I don't know if I have a eating disorder, but in my hole life I was worry about how I look and my weight.
Since I was a little all the people were making comments about my body. But what really hurt me it's that comment come specially from my family. People always said to my mom that I look to big for my age and that I was fat.
When I was little, I had to repeat a year in elementary school. My puberty started very quickly, and I developed faster than my other classmates. That made me very insecure and hate my curvy body. I didn't understand why I wasn't like the others. Why was I so tall? Why didn't I look my age? Why was my bust so big? I started to hate this more and more, especially when I began to be harassed. Men made comments like "Hey beautiful!" but it didn't feel right, and others would stare at me and try to approach me, and this was when I was only 11 years old.
Today, I'm trying to love my body more, but sometimes it's very difficult, especially when it comes to eating. Sometimes I feel bad about eating and I can't control myself. I eat even when I'm not hungry because it makes me feel good during the process, but I end up feeling guilty for having eaten too much.
And even though I have lost weight, people still make comments like "You lost weight, didn't you? You looked better before," and this makes it harder to love myself.
But it is possible!