Body dismorphia

@sweetpotato300

I'm hearing the struggle for you, and I'm glad you're choosing to use clothing that is stretchy rather than clothing that triggers not eating.  Our bodies do fluctuate and can do so either way - up or down depending on water weight and for women, their cycle.  

A lot of people worry about their weight and body shape.  Social media definitely helps to drive that.  Yet there is a want to feel comfortable in our skin.

@KristenHR thank you for your post. I'm still struggling to eat and when to stop when I do finally eat. It's been hard because other people don't understand why I get triggered when they ask me to try on jeans or a bodycon dress. You're right, my body looks different everyday. I'm still avoiding mirrors. But thank you for your reply, I feel seen!

@sweetpotato300

These are common struggles.  I hope that others who relate to these struggles might post as well.  It's challenging to work through them, but it's doable. 

It's okay that you're avoiding the mirrors right now.  Take it one step at a time.  What do you typically say to others who encourage you to try on clothes that you aren't comfortable with?  I usually tell people something like, "that's not my style" or "I don't care for those for myself, personally" or something like that.  Typically that gets them to back down.

If they push, that tells you about them and their friendship with you and them not respecting your boundaries, not about you and your clothing choices.

Honestly, I try to avoid any kind of trying on clothes with people. In that moment, I just cried after expressing my boundary to my mom and getting push back. It's hard to understand the mental toll trying on clothes can take when someone doesn't deal with body dismorphia. I haven't tried to address the situation again as I'm still pretty shaky. Getting rid of clothes that don't fit me has been hard too. Since my mom paid for most of them, she wants me to keep them in case they fit me again. I took the ones that weren't my style that were bought out of sheer emergency because no pants would fit me. But now, decluttering the ones I would like to put back someday should be done as they don't fit me. Having so much stuff makes me anxious as well, but not having them for the "what ifs" also makes me anxious. I can never win 😅