Binge and Purge
Hi everyone, I'm so empowered by you all sharing your histories and habits and am looking for support as well
I'm a binge eater. I find myself self soothing when I'm lonely and my "routine" is changed. It's been about 10 years of consistent binges. Going out of the house, buying food, eating it in privacy. I live alone so it's not hard for me to hide. I also purge.
It started as being unsatisfied with my body, which I do feel good about. I exercise every morning and it is the one piece that has kept me moderately healthy and sane. The addiction however continue to hold me back in so many ways.
I had a few small wins recently, a few binge free days, and am hoping to find more. One piece I know I'm missing is community. I have done to therapy and I've looked into 12 step programs but thought I'd start here. Also it's nice to have 24/7 support. I'll be checking in when I feel the urges arise.
Know that I admire you all, and it's nice to not feel as alone.
Keep faithful and never give up on yourself!
@Phoenix22k
I'm so glad that you've posted and reached out for support. Binge eating is such a tough thing to deal with when food can be so comforting and using it to deal with the emotions and other situations that might be distressing or stressful can be difficult.
Congratulations on having your 3 days in a row. That's great. What did you do to get the 3 days in a row? Was there anything special that you did? Have you considered a support group that isn't a 12 step group? Posting here is a great thing so we can support and encourage you here too!
Thank you!
I have an odd, relationship with food. I'm *always" good with breakfast and look forward to it in a healthy way as it's usually after a morning workout. My challenge comes after lunch, especially now in the summer. I'm a teacher so am on break now and just have "free time" and that's when my mind goes... Let's just eat!
I've gotten much better at recognizing this as a trigger. Boredom. /loneliness and have just used some of the strategies I learned here and going for walks or to a local cafe for coffee helps to get me out and about.
I've noticed that once I start getting momentum and a small streak it's somewhat easier to keep going. I just need that little push... And to stay motivated and not be derailed by unexpected things.
@Phoenix22k
Post as much as you need! Let us help you motivate.
I am working on binging as well after a relapse this week. I’m also an eating disorder therapist!
@kaylab009
Thanks for posting and for your vulnerability. I hate to hear that you relapsed and I know how discouraging and frustrating that is. I want to encourage you to keep using what has been working and post as you need to when it's a challenge an struggle.
I would think that as a therapist you might be a tad bit harder on yourself than your clients because you "know better" so to speak. In case this is true, remember to give yourself grace when you do find yourself in a place where you're not reaching where you expect yourself to because this is also your line of work. Remember you are human too. :)
7/11
So today... Was a fully victorious day! I had all healthy meals, and managed to occupy myself after lunch when my boredom often sets in.
I had been "forcing* myself to only eat 3 meals and found that between lunch and dinner 1-6 I would get hungry. So I had the idea to hold off on the yogurt I have at lunch, and instead have it as a little snack between. This seemed helpful so I wasn't just thinking about how long it was until my next meal.
I did have some thoughts about binging arise, but I didn't ruminate on them and thought of this community and the challenges we all face and are over coming.
Thanks for the motivation!
@Phoenix22k
Great job! Congratulations on a job well done. How does it feel?
I love that you switched up your eating and used the yogurt as a snack. It sounds like a great move.
@KristenHR
It feels... So great. I woke up happier, and still have a spark in my step. I'm doing really well today as well and staying on track despite some hiccups in my schedule.
I have come to really appreciate knowing now that I'm not "alone" and I keep thinking of this community.
One thing I am grateful for is my resilience and determination so I am able to try a few things. As another member mentioned to me it's just hard when there are so many "diets" and do this not that advice out there. My body just needs to get used to eating and keeping things down and trusting that I will fuel it properly. I'm hoping with a string of more success the motivation will build and my hormones/gut will restore.
@Phoenix22k
I'm so happy for you and that you are here and found us! I'm excited to see how each step you take adds up over time. It is a step by step process and it's not linear for sure.
Hi all!
Just thought I'd keep this thread alive as a little journal for myself and to keep anyone updated or interested. I've appreciated the feedback and support.
3 full days now! Feeling great and I keep telling myself that I can control what I put into my mouth, eat healthy, and keep it down. That I don't need to wake up again feeling ashamed about what I ate or my choices.
I'm still tempted, but trying to give the binge thoughts less power. One by talking on here when I'm bored and reflecting on how I feel.
Oh and I completed another 10k spartan race yesterday so I'm living off that excitement 😊
Trying to stay strong again today, 4 days in a row ( sounds pathetic ) but would be a huge victory.
@Phoenix22k
Don't say that!!! 4 days is everything BUT patetic! It's great, you're great and you're doing great!!!!
