Accountability thread 9/9 - 9/15

9/9 Monday

Hi everyone! I accidentally posted to the wrong thread earlier so to summarize I had a graat day. It was my sisters birthday and we did a lot of fun things! This marks day 4 binge free and I’m feeling so good! Hope you all are doing awesome!

@orangeSpruce9113

Great work Orange! It is so nice to hear you finding success again and getting back on track so quickly. It sounds like you are starting to find some more joy in things which is wonderful. I'm sure you felt more "present" at your sister's birthday and hopefully were not focused so much about food/diet.

Keep it up!!

@orangeSpruce9113

Great job!!! I am so happy for you!

9/9

Monday went well! My shoulder held up much better than I thought during my chest/back routine. I didn't quite make some of the same weights as before, but managed higher ones elsewhere. So it was great! I had a nice night's rest on top of that. Each morning I have been journaling my sleep on a scale of 5, my workout intensity, 3 things I'm grateful for, my goals for the day, and how I want to spend my evening. It helps me stay focused when ED brain starts chiming in.

School went well and came home. Ate solid meals and made it to day 2/5! 

9/10

Another nice day! Slept well again and had a good workout with arms. Shoulder is getting a little better. 

School went well, though my patience with some kiddos is starting to be tested haha. But I'm grateful for being their teacher and it is going well. Tomorrow is going to be a "rough" day. School until 3:00 then back to school night with parents from 5:30 to 8:30. It is a nice opportunity... but generally speaking only about 5 parents show up so it is a long, rather pointless, afternoon. Trying to stay positive though!

Meals went well and preparing to eat some dinner at this time :)

Feeling good, motivated, and ED brain is a little bit noisier but I plan to make my dinner, then afterwards lay down and watch some Netflix.

Hope everyone is doing well!

oh and @turtleonmyleftarm .... Happy Belated Anniversary!!! Congrats and I hope you had a wonderful day!!

@Phoenix22k

Congrats and day 3/5 binge/purge free! You’re over half way there you can do it!! Proud of you always!

9/10 Tuesday

Hi guys! Today was good and makes day 5 binge free! I am so proud of myself for being strong and patient. I am mentally and physically feeling a LOT better and am actually able to focus on things, have the energy to do more things, and overall am just in a better mood. Hope you are all doing amazing as well!

@orangeSpruce9113

Yeaaaah! Great job! 5 days is a huge result!!!!

@orangeSpruce9113

Amazing Spruce! I am envious you are on day 5! Keep going! By no means is that the limit :)

Super proud of you, and yes. Notice those feelings. I always try to tell myself "this is how I can feel" while it may not be perfect, it certainly beats the alternative.

Glad to hear!

Just curious, do you work or are you in school? 

@Phoenix22k

I’m in school but still on summer break right now so I’m working!

Hi everyone!

Sorry for not being able to join yesterday, but it's been a bit hectic at work. Today, though, I made sure to find some time to connect and write to you!

@orangeSpruce9113 I'm really proud of you for how your 5-day challenge is going. You're so close to "bringing home the prize! I can't wait to read about your victorious day!

@Phoenix22k great job with your workouts and how your days are going overall. You're really good with your journaling. I tried it myself, but I couldn't keep up with it as regularly as you do. Maybe because (as with everything) I had too many expectations. I forced myself to find things to be grateful for even when there weren’t any, and I would stress about writing what I thought should be written instead of what I really felt. But you're inspiring me, and thanks to you, I might give it another go! Who knows!
Ahahaha, but is your patience running out with the kiddos or their parents? 🤣
Thank you so much for the anniversary congratulations! You're very sweet!

Monday 9th
Anniversary day, as I already mentioned and Phoenix reminded us.
Fun fact: we got married on 9/9/18 simply because, mathematically speaking, it sounded good to us. 9 + 9 = 18. Easy to remember! Too bad I've never been good at math, so it didn't make much difference, ahahaha…
Anyway, meals were ok —always around my 90%. We're simple people, so we hadn't planned anything big. We just went to our favorite pizza place, just the two of us, and were happy to celebrate that way. When we got to the pizzeria, I thought I'd get my usual veggie pizza without mozzarella so I could allow myself a dessert to celebrate (even though in my mind, it still felt like too much. The concept of allowing myself dessert probably wouldn't sit well with my ED brain even if I fasted all day. But that's another story!).
When the waiter came, he announced the "pizza of the day," which is always different and they offer daily with some special ingredient. That day's pizza had pumpkin cream, blue cheese, and chestnuts—pretty hefty ingredients. Pumpkin is a vegetable, but in my first diet, they equated it with a carb, so it's always scared me a bit. Blue cheese is very caloric. Chestnuts are nuts, also very caloric.
My mind immediately thought, "No way, I'll just order my veggie pizza." But my mouth said, "I'll take that one!" The time between ordering and the pizza arriving was spent in a bit of shock, wondering why I ordered such a caloric pizza and regretting it. But I have to say it was really, really good!!! When it came time for dessert, our favorite one wasn't on the menu that night, and the alternatives didn't appeal to us. But we were satisfied anyway, and we went home, where my husband grabbed a little treat from the freezer so he could finish the celebration with something sweet. Not me, though, but I was happier that way, rather than forcing myself to eat more and increasing my guilt.

Tuesday 10th
Very busy day at work, but luckily I went to the gym during my lunch break, which helped me release some tension and get some movement in. Again, meals were around 90%. When I got home for dinner, I was hungry, and I snacked on a carrot while preparing our meal, but I started feeling a bit queasy. I thought it was hunger, but it must have been something else because during dinner, my stomach really started hurting and kept hurting for a couple of hours after. But eventually, it passed, and I ate "right" throughout the day, so all good. These things happen, and I don't think it was food-related, so I'm at ease.
The only thing worth noting today is this. When I got to the gym, I was doing a 10-minute treadmill walk as a warm-up, and I was chatting with my trainer. He asked me if I went for a run on Sunday, and I told him how it went. At one point, he said, "Wow, do you realize what you're doing? With your hip problem and the surgery, it's no small feat! Do you ever give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself you're doing a great job?" I was taken aback. At that moment, I gave a somewhat evasive answer, saying that I tried not to think about it too much because the surgeon actually told me I shouldn't be running, so I try not to dwell on it so I can keep doing it with peace of mind. But honestly, I thought about it after he pointed it out, and I realized that—like in all aspects of my life—I'm never satisfied. I never see the positive in what I'm doing, and I never congratulate myself because it always seems to me that what I do is nothing special. If someone else does X, it's special and amazing. If I do X, it's just a normal thing, maybe even a bit lacking… So, yeah, I've promised myself that I'll try to look at my achievements with a kinder eye.

Sending you all a hug! I wish you a wonderful day!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Happy anniversary! Sounds like you’ve had a challenging but successful few days so good work! That’s truly an eye opening realization that you’ve discovered and I’m glad it will be changing the way you view things! Be proud of yourself because you are doing amazing, you are not lacking or just normal. You are amazing!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Amazing all around! I am really glad to hear that you had a wonderful anniversary! I appreciate the 9 + 9 = 18 pattern! The meal you had sounds really good too and how you balanced it out later in the evening, not feeling the need for a treat. It just sounds like a really relaxing and loving day you had with your husband to celebrate!

Great job on the run and it is so great that your trainer complimented your success. We do, fail, to recognize the great things that we do. It is similar to the podcast episode we listened to where we are constantly trying for more and more and never recognizing our successes. Sign me up for this trainer he sounds great!

You are doing so well at even approaching 90% and doing so consistently with your diet. Your mindset seems to be adjusting and each time I read of your stories I feel happy for you. From weighing your food less, being courageous about eating more, and not letting as much derail your confidence.

You are doing great turtle!

@Phoenix22k@orangeSpruce9913

Thank you, Orange! You're very sweet!

Thank you, Phoenix, I knew you'd like the date!
You're right, my personal trainer is the best. I'm really grateful to him for everything he does for me.

You know, this response of yours, and Orange's as well, makes me think.
I read your comments, and you're always so positive about what I do!
It feels like I'm not doing enough. It feels like I'm not improving. I feel so full of doubts, uncertainties, flaws… And yet, you read my messages and always take the best from them!
My ED brain wants to make me believe that maybe it's a language issue. Since we don't speak the same language, I explain myself poorly – or rather, too "positively" – and give a false impression.
But I want to silence my ED brain and instead THANK YOU for who you are and how you treat me.
You're truly a valuable resource, and I'll try to start thinking about myself and my activities as if I were seeing them through your eyes.
From today on, I'll start asking myself, "What would Phoenix and Orange say?"
Thank you, you're my inspiration!

My friends, this can't wait until my accountability post tomorrow (about today, but that I'll send tomorrow). I'm so excited, I just have to tell you! Even if it has nothing to do with what we usually talk about here.

I MANAGED TO GET TICKETS FOR THE IMAGINE DRAGONS CONCERT!

I'm not someone who goes to concerts often; in my life, I've only been to three (Michael Bublé, Bruno Mars, and Sam Smith). Plus, in Italy, there aren't as many concert opportunities as there are in America... 

In the last couple of years, I've become more and more passionate about Imagine Dragons, and I promised myself I'd try to get tickets for their show if they came to Italy.

Yesterday, they opened presales for those who registered directly on their site, but by the time I managed to get to the ticket purchase, they were already sold out. Such an incredible disappointment!

But today, there was a second batch of tickets on sale, connected to a different promoter.
Well, I did it! And, anxious that they might sell out, I ended up buying slightly more expensive tickets than I had initially planned, but in a really great spot, so I'm thrilled because I'll have an even better view than I initially thought. Sure, I spent more than expected... But you only live once, right?!
Now the only problem is waiting almost a year... Hahaha.

That's it, I just had to tell someone!

OMG that sounds so fun!!!! Lucky you!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

AWESOME! They have come around where I live a few times and everyone says amazing things about them. I really enjoy their music! Many upbeat, fun, and meaningful songs.

That is definitely something to look forward to! I think it is the universe's way of rewarding you for all your success :)

9/11

Day 4 of binge free on the way! I feel really good, and just need to keep telling myself that this is how I can always feel. In general at least. I know each day won't be quite the same, but still.

It is just so nice waking up and not having food/shame be the first thing on my mind. After a purge/binge that is usually my first thought "today is the day." While that is motivating, it is nice to have more positive thoughts first thing.

Workout was good this AM, good run. Slept well. @Turtleonmyleftarm, I'm not perfect with my journaling and have tried a few different things. I found that a simple notebook with a few highlights is sufficient for me. Sometimes I will do a recap in the evening.

The regular school day went well. I'm trying not to dread being there again from 6:00 - 8:30 and hopeful that it will go by quickly. I have great coworkers at least that help pass the time, and have some extra work I can catch up on. Aiming to make it as productive as I can.

One silver lining, since I will be at school, ED brain doesn't really have a chance to ruin my streak! Haha. Plus I plan on going right home, having a protein shake, and going to bed.

This should very well be day 4 and tomorrow afternoon will be relaxing and a nice "off" afternoon.

Have a great evening everyone!

@Phoenix22k

Congrats I’m glad you’re feeling better! I can totally relate to the not having food guilt and shame feeling amazingggg it actually feels freeing. Keep up the good work!

@Phoenix22k

Day 4! That’s amazing! 

I’m so proud of you for sticking with it and recognizing how good you feel in the process. It’s so true that each day won’t be the same, but you’re setting a solid foundation for yourself.

Honestly, your approach to journaling makes sense. Whatever works for you is what matters, even if it’s just quick highlights. The fact that you’re showing up for yourself in different ways is a big win.

You’re doing amazing and inspiring me with your mindset and determination. Keep it up, one day at a time! Tomorrow sounds like a well-deserved chill day. You’ve earned it! 😊

9/11 Wednesday

Hi guys! I’m so happy to say this marks 6 days binge free! I did have an urge tonight after dinner but I curbed it by having frozen grapes and frozen bananas. I was so tempted to just start indulging in chocolates and junk but I knew once I had a taste it would turn into a binge so I opted for some healthier options and I’m really proud about that.

Little update: had late night munchies and was really scared I was going to binge so decided to snack on “healthy” things. I ended up having another frozen banana, a handful of crispy won ton chip things, tortilla chips, grapes, and a nectarine. Not sure if this would be considered a binge cause I didn’t necessarily have that complete loss of control feeling but I definitely was eating more for comfort reasons than for hunger. Fortunately because I had snacks I deem healthy I don’t feel as guilty as I usually feel from binging. Anyways, binge or not I’m not going to let this ruin my streak. I will keep moving forward.

@orangeSpruce9113

Hi Orange!

Wow, 6 days binge-free! That’s such an awesome achievement! 🎉 I’m so proud of you for making mindful choices, especially when you felt the urge after dinner. Reaching for frozen grapes and bananas instead of diving into chocolates shows such strength and awareness. It’s great to see you honoring your progress like that!

As for the late-night munchies, I get how tricky those moments can be. What really matters is that you stayed mindful and didn’t let it spiral into a full binge. You listened to your body and opted for snacks that made you feel better in the long run. Whether it’s technically a binge or not, I think it’s huge that you don’t feel the usual guilt and that you're focused on moving forward. That mindset is everything! 

One thing is for sure: this isn’t going to ruin your streak, and I love that you’re not letting it hold you back. You’re doing such amazing work, and the fact that you’re staying so reflective and kind to yourself through it all is inspiring. Keep it going, one step at a time – you're crushing it!

@orangeSpruce9113

Hey orange! Congrats on day 6!!! Awesome.

I have the SAME emotions when I eat a second helping of something, even if it is "healthy". I try and look at it as my body telling me I need to eat more and not to be ashamed of it.

The "control" factor is key. I would say as long as you felt "in control" then it certainly is not a binge. I/we know the difference. 

I'm so proud of you and you are inspiring me along the way. I'm so grateful you found our community :)

@Phoenix22k

Thank you I’m glad I found this community as well. It’s been extremely helpful to feel so supported and motivated by you all!

Hi everyone,
Here’s my report for Wednesday, September 11th.
I started the day with an 8 km run, partially in the rain. "A wet run, a lucky run!" Okay, it's just a saying we have here in Italy (the real one is "wet bride, lucky bride"), but honestly, it wasn’t anything special. Well, actually, one special thing happened: I ate a rice cake before going for my run, even though I usually go on an empty stomach – you know, for my ED brain, everything is "too much," and even a rice cake feels like it. But I managed to silence it.
Work was pretty tough, we're trying to sort out some complicated projects. Thankfully, the day was brightened by the fact that I managed to snag tickets to the Imagine Dragons concert! Yeah!!!
As for food, I think I hit about 90% throughout the day, except for dinner, where I cut back more. I’m noticing some duality in my behavior. I'm starting to restrict more than before, but at the same time, because of this restriction, I sometimes allow myself a bit more. Like the rice cake before my run. Or today at lunch (today is Thursday, September 12th, so I’m cheating a bit with this accountability) when I ate less than planned but then grabbed an apple before heading back to the office.
In short, lots of mixed signals and ups and downs. But I’m not giving up – it still feels like I'm on the right path that I started a few weeks ago, thanks to these reports.
Thanks for reading another accountability post. I hope your day is going well, and I can't wait to read your updates. See you tomorrow!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Sounds like it is a lot of ups and downs and that can be confusing but I’m glad you’re pushing through to find the positives. Keep taking those baby steps you got this!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

I never heard of that saying before but it is great! Especially since I know people here "freak out" if it rains on their wedding day. I have your quote now to use in the event I go to a rainy wedding haha.

So long as its "warm" I have actually found running in the rain pleasant at times! As long as it is not a torrential downpour at least. I also like to tell myself as I run in different weather that its not much different from people who are in the armed forces or out risking their lives no matter the weather. It is a little boost like, "hey if they can risk their life here, I can survive a run".

Great job (as usual)! I really do think that you are just finding a happy place with your diet. You do mention "restricting" around some meals, but from what I read you have added a lot of little other snacks here in there. This to me means that you are growing, and really not restricting as much. So yes I would agree that you are hitting your targets!

@Phoenix22k

Hi Phoenix,
You inspired me to look up the origin of the saying “a wet bride is a lucky bride.”
I discovered that there are two meanings behind it.
The first one is meant to lift the bride’s spirits a bit, as obviously, every woman hopes to have a dry wedding day.
The second origin is much older and links the saying to the connection between water and fertility, as water allows crops to grow abundantly. In the same way, it was wished that water would grant the bride fertility and many children.
...Luckily for me, it didn’t rain on my wedding day, as having kids isn’t exactly my biggest aspiration ahahaha.

Thursday 9/12

Made it to day 5! Thanks to my support from you guys :)

Yesterday evening went rather well. The time went by quick, I took my dinner to the school and ate before parents came in. Then came home. I was not as tired as I thought I would be so went to bed a little later. 

This morning, I thought I would be really exhausted throughout the day. I woke up and had a good workout, upping some weights on sets. Run was good as well. School went by and I kept telling myself just make it through and reward myself with a nap when I get home! Which I did haha.

With eating better, I suppose that is just another way that my body countered my lack of sleep and still allowed me to feel good today. Just another reminder to myself that making the right choices helps in so many ways.

Also today, taking a cue from you all here, I looked up local psychologists. I really should get back into an office and have been putting it off. Not out of shame or anything, but for the longest time I have just tried to do this on my own. You all have been an extra support, but I figure the more the better. I'll continue my search and hopefully be able to meet up with one in the coming month.

So 5/5. Really hoping to keep this going and make it through the rest of the month. Thanks for your support and love guys!

@Phoenix22k

YAYYY this whole post just made me so happy. 1) Sounds like a busy day I’m glad you’re not too tired 2) congrats on 5 days! We did it and it feels so good so let’s keep the streak going! 3) I’m glad you’re going to try and get help. It is quite a hassle to get things in order but so worth it in the end! So proud of you!

Hi @Phoenix22k

Congratulations on reaching Day 5!

I can't remember, did you and @orangeSpruce9113 just set this "challenge" as it is, or was there also a reward at the end? You’ve both done an amazing job, and I think you deserve a little reward to celebrate your great achievement and to make this positive thing even more memorable. Something small, but you definitely deserve a bit of positive reinforcement! Well done!

Back to your day, Phoenix, I’m really happy that you’re experiencing firsthand the improvements that come from more consistency in all areas of your life (food, sleep, etc.). Of course, we’re very complex beings, and our brain really goes all out to make life complicated for us! But at the same time, to simplify things (maybe too much), we shouldn’t forget that, in a way, our body is like a machine. So, if we want it to work properly, we need to give it the right fuel, check the tire pressure, do all the maintenance… And also, avoid overheating the engine by keeping it running too hard for too long. In our case, that means we need to rest.

It’s wonderful that you’re noticing these improvements in how you feel, because these are the sensations that will help you get back on track if you ever “slip” – though, of course, I’m cheering for you so that doesn’t happen!

I’m more and more proud of you.
Of both of you.
Of us!

@Turtleonmyleftarm

You know, we did not come up with a "reward" but that is a good idea!

I really liked how a few weeks ago we did this as a group, perhaps we can look into that again and have a challenge for us all :)

Hi everyone,
As promised, here I am with my accountability for Thursday the 12th.

Today, my daily movement consisted of two walks with the dogs, one in the morning and one in the evening. Of course, my ED brain is telling me, "So basically, you did nothing," but as I just wrote in response to Phoenix, we can’t always run the engine at full speed. Sometimes we need to drive at lower RPMs. So, when my mind tries to make me feel guilty about having a quieter day, I try to redirect my thoughts towards something like this idea.

Breakfast is always going well. In addition, for the past few weeks, after breakfast and just before leaving for work, I’ve added a coffee with a bit of milk. So, in fact, you could say I’m actually eating more than expected for breakfast.
Both my mid-morning snack (yogurt with fruit) and my mid-afternoon snack (fruit and nuts) went well, too.

At lunch, though, my ED brain partially took over. Instead of 75 grams of couscous, I weighed out 55 grams. I didn’t use any fat (no oil, avocado, or nuts). But just before leaving for work again, I grabbed an apple and munched on it while walking to my car. Not because I was hungry. And it wasn’t because I felt guilty about restricting my lunch portions either. I think it was just a lack of satisfaction with what I’d eaten, and I hoped the apple (fresh, sweet, and crunchy) would give me the extra something that was missing from my meal.

At dinner, I also slightly reduced the carbs (70 grams of bread instead of 85) and used only a third of the oil. But when I was preparing the snacks for the next day, I didn’t hold back from "cleaning the spoon" of the leftover yogurt after portioning it into the bowls.
And both after lunch and after dinner, there was the now inevitable coffee with a bit of milk.

I realize that while, on the one hand, I’m "cheating" more than I was weeks ago (the milk in my coffee, that bit of extra yogurt, etc.), in reality, I’m slipping backwards. When I feel hunger pangs, or my body sends signals that it needs energy, I tense up and start calculating everything I’ve eaten. Instead of saying, "Okay, that makes sense, maybe I could give my body a bit more if it needs it," I react in the opposite way. "No, you ate an hour ago, now you wait. No, you’ve already eaten too much, let’s round down at lunch. No, you can’t be hungry. My body is sending me the wrong messages because it doesn’t know what to do, but my mind does, and the solution isn’t to eat more but to eat less."

I won’t lie, I still don’t know the exact cause of my anorexia. On the surface, I thought it was just a physical issue—I don’t like my body. But in my sessions with the psychologist, we’re working on many other aspects, and she’s convinced that there’s something deeper. Over the past few weeks, we’ve been digging a lot into my life, especially my childhood, so I’d like to think that this (slight) setback might be linked to the fact that maybe we’re getting closer to the root of the problem, and my brain is reacting this way because it’s scared of me uncovering it. Who knows!

There are also two other things on the horizon that I think are affecting me. The first is that next Saturday (the 21st) is a friend’s wedding. I’ve made up a lie to avoid going to the restaurant, but I’ll be attending the ceremony. And even though I’ll be wearing a dress I bought when I weighed more, I’m already having a thousand negative thoughts. It won’t fit me right. My stomach will show. I won’t be dressed well enough for the event. Every possible negative thought has crossed my mind.
The second thing is my next appointment with the dietitian on the 19th. I haven’t been able to follow through on what they told me (not to weigh my food but "eyeball" it), and on one hand, I’m worried about how they’ll react. On the other hand, I don’t want to show up having gained weight because I’m scared they might think I’m cured or that they’ve helped me when, in reality, they haven’t at all.

Sorry. Once again, I’ve written a ton…

@Turtleonmyleftarm

Don’t apologize for “writing too much”. We’re here to listen to everything you want to say! We’re here to support you! I’m sorry you feel like you’re slipping backwards but I think the fact that you have so much self awareness shows that you are making more progress than you give yourself credit for. I’m happy you’re seeing a psychologist it seems very effective in getting to the root causes. Try not to be so hard on yourself because you’re doing great! You got this!

@orangeSpruce9113

Thank you so much!!! 💜

Hi guys! Pretty busy day here but I had a successful day with no binges! I went to the doctor to get a prescription for the antidepressants so hopefully it will help. When I got to the doctor I had to get my weight checked and that really hit me in my heart more than I hoped it would. Doctor says I’m a healthy weight but obviously to me it’s just too much because I was much thinner before the binging started. Anyways I’m going to start taking the prescription tomorrow so hopefully I’ll see improvements in my mental health. Hope you guys had good days as well!

This is for 9/12 Thursday btw

@orangeSpruce9113

Hey Orange, I'm glad you had another good day of eating at least and were able to check in with your Dr. 

Weight, is a common theme amongst us all. Especially for us who "fit" the right weights. My doctor would say the same thing, physically I am in "great" shape. Mentally, I'm a bit ashamed of myself yet. Working on that.

The weight could be due to a ton of things, @turtleonmyleftarm and I discussed this a bit and had the same feelings. While we eat "right" our weights fluctuate regularly. I would say so long as it is not a drastic change, 10 lbs either way, that you are doing just fine. I'm not a doctor by any means, so take that as you will. With binges, I do know that our body will gain significant water weight, for several days following. So you could still be working through that, even though you have had quite a string of successful days!

Keep your head up and stay positive! The antidepressants may take some time to kick in, at least that is what it was like for me, so give it time and patience. 

You rock!

@orangeSpruce9113

Hi Orange, 
I am sorry your doc checked your weight and BMI. I understand how triggering this can be, even if the result puts you in the "healthy" part of the table. 
I really don't understand why doctors in the US check that. I see it in movies and tv series, here in Italy is something they don't check unless they're dieticians or professionals specialized in weight-related issues. It has been proven more than once that BMI and weight charts are not a valuable tool to check ones' health as there are too many factors playing there. Ethnicity, muscle mass, lots and lots of stuff. Moreover doctors who check your weight, if the result is higher than the golden standard, tend to link any issue to this aspect and don't actually consider other exams or reasons for a specific illness or problem, potentially leading to worse health problems. 
I really wish they would stop that!!! 

But I am glad you were actually able to get out of that initial moment of discouragement and analyze the situation in the right way. It really shows how much you're growing and improving!

Hi guys,

It's Friday night and I'm about to write to you about my day. I usually do it the day after, taking advantage of the office computer, but since I don’t work during the weekend and I will be using my phone from home, I can do it right away.

My day started with a workout (mostly legs and core stability) and a walk with the dogs. Then breakfast (pancakes, which, being the most caloric option among my breakfasts, always worry me a bit, even though they’re my favorite).

Today was the last day at work for a colleague, and she brought a cake. I refused it and stuck to my planned snack. For lunch, I cut back on portions. About ten grams less of carbs, about three-quarters of the planned protein, and zero fats. Dinner was also less than a third of the fats, three-quarters of the carbs, but I had all the proteins. Vegetables are always abundant because they fill me up and make me feel more at ease, plus, in the end, they’re still carbs...

But tomorrow I MUST force myself to eat more, otherwise, I won’t be able to run on Sunday the way I know I can.