Struggling
This just ramblings because i think i need to get some of this out of my head and into words.
Since this covid thing started i have had a great deal of anxiety and depression. Ii am taking antidepressants and anxiety meds when its really bad. But now im starting to obsess over how much i am eating. Many many years ago i went through treatment for bulimia and have had little relapses before but this is starting to feel out of control.
I have been trying to only eat healthy foods and im walking a mile a day. Only walking doesnt really help it only makes the thousand thoughts in my head spin faster. At the moment i really want to go buy a bathroom scale to weight myself because i feel like i has lost a litte weight but cant prove without the scale.
Im very scared at the moment. I dont want to be that person with the eating disorder again.
Have requested counseling through my dr and hopefully the will call me back tomorrow with an appointment. My patience and frustration levels are really low at the moment.
I am lucky i am able to work from home so i do still have a job during all of this, but it ties me to my computer and house most of the day.
Thanks for listening