I feel guilty and sad when I eat
Last year, I used to weigh <edit> lbs with a slight fluctuation into <edit> lbs as a constant weight. (For reference I am <edit> foot <edit>) However, now I weigh at my lowest <edit> lbs due to a combination of not eating, throwing up or chewing/spitting my food before swallowing. I don't have much time to eat as a college student that's also doing a paid internship. This had made me regress to my old eating disorder along with new symptoms. I can't eat or sleep because nothing not even food makes me really happy. In fact, when I eat I feel super guilty about eating even though I know it's necessary to live. What should I do?
I see you recognize feelings of guilt which is a good start. Have you been able to understand where the guilt is coming from and challenge that feeling as well as the validity of it? Does it help at all?
@BearListens Hey bear, your response sounds very thoughtful to my problem. I am not so sure why the feelings of guilt are resurfacing but they have been with me since the very beginning of my eating disorder. I used to get bullied in middle school, maybe looking back those feelings were triggered by what happened back then. I appreciate your thoughtful response it's really given me something to reflect on since I never considered that my problem may be related to the cause of my guilt. Upon reading your response know that despite you mentioning that you may nor be suitable for advice you really helped me somewhat so thank you.
@BearListens Hey bear, your response sounds very thoughtful to my problem. I am not so sure why the feelings of guilt are resurfacing but they have been with me since the very beginning of my eating disorder. I used to get bullied in middle school, maybe looking back those feelings were triggered by what happened back then. I appreciate your thoughtful response it's really given me something to reflect on since I never considered that my problem may be related to the cause of my guilt. Upon reading your response know that despite you mentioning that you may nor be suitable for advice you really helped me somewhat so thank you.