Food is evil
I hate food. I hate food because I love it. I hate that I love it. I will forever wish I could be the person to look at a cheeseburger or nachos or cheesecake or brownies and say "ew that looks gross!" and mean it! I wish I could be the person who stops eating when they're full. I wish I could be the person who doesn't constantly crave food and think about food. I wish I could be the person that looks at frosting and imagines the fat sticking to their thighs if they eat it. I wish I could be the person that could drive past 5 fast food restaurants on the way home without even thinking about stopping for something. I wish I could be the person who wants something, and then dismisses that desire instead of fulfilling it. I wish I could be that person who spends their time and money on things that really matter instead of evil food. I love it, and I hate that. I want to ignore food; I want to forget about it. I want my life back.
I find comfort in food. I eat because I'm stressed, I'm stressed because I eat so much. I also hate complaining to others about my weight because it ends up in (I told you to do something about it already, like workout). As if I haven't already tried. But it is hard to restart over and over trying to loose weight and I just gain more in the process. It easy to say what's right like exercise, eat less, don't be so hard on yourself... but it's hard to do those things and keep at it. I think I will always have a love hate relationship with food. I just gotta learn how to live with it.
Whenever I am bored, stressed or sad I always find comfort in food. However, when I eat the food, I get thoughts that I shouldn't be eating and that I'm fat. I couldn't wear shorts out the other day because I have thunder thighs and I am ashamed of myself for getting them like that. Everyday I eat too much (however people disagree and say I should be eating more as I only eat one meal a day) but for me that's too much. I am not thin but I would like to be. Food just comforts me and I hate it. I can't eat today because I ate so much yesterday. I'm sorry.
Eating makes me feel ugly and so fat. I wish I could just fast for weeks.
@BerryTea I understand how you feel! Sometimes I think it'd be easier if we could all just photosynthesize. I hope that things get easier soon, and that you'll reach out to someone you trust if it becomes too difficult to handle.
