Eating disorder caused by depression?
Hello, not sure if in the right place but.. it’s been 5h since I woke up and had nothing to eat. The day before I ate what a normal person would eat at breakfast, throughout the hole day. Day before yesterday same and so on. I am depressed for many years, so I struggle with this for a while. Usually it comes in phases. A period of time I eat normally, then relapse and so on. This cycle takes about a month. This time I relapsed and never bounced back. It’s been 6 months or so. I am underweight and in a period of 6 years, I managed to gain back all I lost only once. Then something bad happened and I lost it again. I feel like it’s going from worst to terrible. I feel anxiety towards the fact that I am too skinny, I don’t like being seen anymore and over the years I got from being out all the time to not wanting to go out even to buy bred. Not eating always differ. Sometimes I feel hungry and want to eat but can’t. Or I cook but then don’t eat because I don’t like it. Other times I feel hungry but I just dont eat. I have to plan ahead in my head what I’d like to eat or think I’d be able to eat and it doesn’t always work. I found that blending everything into a smoothie makes it easier, I don’t have to chew and think about it, just pour it down the throat while gaging cuz my mind says yes you have to but then the body says nope and it’s hard to swallow. The thought of having to think about food, preparing, cooking or eating sometimes makes me anxious. I am obsessed with gaining weight but can,t/won’t eat. I wish I could just be without having to eat, or find some way to feed myself without actually eating. Does it make any sense? Because I barely eat, I never have energy for anything really. Sometimes I wish to do this or that but feel so anemic. I am always hungry even after a full meal. I am in a vicious circle, if my body isn’t fed, my brain is not good either so my mind is always in a bad place.
I would like to understand what and why. Why do I knowingly starve myself and feel bad about it, yet can’t find a way out. And what is this. Is it a food disorder I didn’t find info about yet, is it depression, insanity… 🥺
@Fluffymonster101 this resonate with me so much 🥺. Hoping others will shed some insights.
@Fluffymonster101 Hello lovely!
I sincerely appreciate your courage in expressing your challenges, and I want you to know that you're not alone on this road. Opening up requires a great deal of strength 🌟 (hugs)
Initially, I would ask that you think about getting professional assistance. Counselors and therapists are trained to provide you with the support you require. Be in the company of sympathetic friends and relatives who can provide a solid support network.
Try to concentrate on forming virtuous habits when making tiny daily progress. The following advice might be useful:
1. Mindful Eating:
Chew on tiny portions and appreciate the taste. Instead of concentrating on the act of eating, try to enjoy the process.
2. Rich in Nutrient Smoothies:
It's a terrific concept that you could combine meals! Drinking smoothies can be an easy way to absorb important nutrients.
3. Meal Planning:
Make a basic and enticing meal plan in advance. Anxiety related to eating might decrease with a strategy.
4. Positive Affirmations:
Tell yourself every day how beautiful and valuable you are. Make a list of affirmations to help you feel better about yourself.
5. Hobbies and Diversions:
Take part in enjoyable activities to divert your attention from unfavorable thoughts.
Always keep in mind that every healing journey is different and that progress is made gradually.
You are worthy of all that life has to offer, including pleasure, love, and excellent health.
Until then, please don't hesitate to reach out to someone needing support. 💖
Love you, stay blessed, and Take care of Yourself💖
Always remember that You are Worthy💖
@intuitiveHickory85
thank you so much for your compassion. this is very complete and useful. Some of the steps I already knew/tried/trying. it doesn’t always work, but when it does, I really feel the difference. I’ll try out knew info as soon as I’ll feel ready. And you are absolutely right about therapy, I’ve been depressed for so long, I had a lot of time to research and experiment. I tried almost everything. I thought I can fix it myself and I don’t need any help. That’s how much confidence and determination I used to have. It’s all gone now. All I have left is hope that someday i’ll walk outside, see a pretty flower and actually feel something again. I miss how I used to see the world. Therapy is not an option atm. I have some issues I can’t address and I’m trying to fix that here. Already had the pleasure to meet some of many wonderful peers. I think I’m in the right place.
Thank you again. Much appreciated.
@Fluffymonster101 Dear Soulful Beauty,