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Eating disorder caused by depression?

Fluffymonster101 February 5th

Hello, not sure if in the right place but.. it’s been 5h since I woke up and had nothing to eat. The day before I ate what a normal person would eat at breakfast, throughout the hole day. Day before yesterday same and so on. I am depressed for many years, so I struggle with this for a while. Usually it comes in phases. A period of time I eat normally, then relapse and so on. This cycle takes about a month. This time I relapsed and never bounced back. It’s been 6 months or so. I am underweight and in a period of 6 years, I managed to gain back all I lost only once. Then something bad happened and I lost it again. I feel like it’s going from worst to terrible. I feel anxiety towards the fact that I am too skinny, I don’t like being seen anymore and over the years I got from being out all the time to not wanting to go out even to buy bred. Not eating always differ. Sometimes I feel hungry and want to eat but can’t. Or I cook but then don’t eat because I don’t like it. Other times I feel hungry but I just dont eat. I have to plan ahead in my head what I’d like to eat or think I’d be able to eat and it doesn’t always work. I found that blending everything into a smoothie makes it easier, I don’t have to chew and think about it, just pour it down the throat while gaging cuz my mind says yes you have to but then the body says nope and it’s hard to swallow. The thought of having to think about food, preparing, cooking or eating sometimes makes me anxious. I am obsessed with gaining weight but can,t/won’t eat. I wish I could just be without having to eat, or find some way to feed myself without actually eating. Does it make any sense? Because I barely eat, I never have energy for anything really. Sometimes I wish to do this or that but feel so anemic. I am always hungry even after a full meal. I am in a vicious circle, if my body isn’t fed, my brain is not good either so my mind is always in a bad place. 

I would like to understand what and why. Why do I knowingly starve myself and feel bad about it, yet can’t find a way out. And what is this. Is it a food disorder I didn’t find info about yet, is it depression, insanity… 🥺

9
Ubebe February 6th

@Fluffymonster101   this resonate with me so much 🥺. Hoping others will shed some insights.

intuitiveHickory85 February 7th

@Fluffymonster101     Hello lovely!


I sincerely appreciate your courage in expressing your challenges, and I want you to know that you're not alone on this road. Opening up requires a great deal of strength 🌟 (hugs)


Initially, I would ask that you think about getting professional assistance. Counselors and therapists are trained to provide you with the support you require. Be in the company of sympathetic friends and relatives who can provide a solid support network.


Try to concentrate on forming virtuous habits when making tiny daily progress. The following advice might be useful:


1. Mindful Eating:


Chew on tiny portions and appreciate the taste. Instead of concentrating on the act of eating, try to enjoy the process.


2. Rich in Nutrient Smoothies:


It's a terrific concept that you could combine meals! Drinking smoothies can be an easy way to absorb important nutrients.


3. Meal Planning:


Make a basic and enticing meal plan in advance. Anxiety related to eating might decrease with a strategy.


4. Positive Affirmations:


Tell yourself every day how beautiful and valuable you are. Make a list of affirmations to help you feel better about yourself.


5. Hobbies and Diversions:


Take part in enjoyable activities to divert your attention from unfavorable thoughts.


Always keep in mind that every healing journey is different and that progress is made gradually. 


You are worthy of all that life has to offer, including pleasure, love, and excellent health.


Until then, please don't hesitate to reach out to someone needing support. 💖


Love you, stay blessed, and Take care of Yourself💖


Always remember that You are Worthy💖


7 replies
Fluffymonster101 OP February 7th

@intuitiveHickory85

thank you so much for your compassion. this is very complete and useful. Some of the steps I already knew/tried/trying. it doesn’t always work, but when it does, I really feel the difference. I’ll try out knew info as soon as I’ll feel ready. And you are absolutely right about therapy, I’ve been depressed for so long, I had a lot of time to research and experiment. I tried almost everything. I thought I can fix it myself and I don’t need any help. That’s how much confidence and determination I used to have. It’s all gone now. All I have left is hope that someday i’ll walk outside, see a pretty flower and actually feel something again. I miss how I used to see the world. Therapy is not an option atm. I have some issues I can’t address and I’m trying to fix that here. Already had the pleasure to meet some of many wonderful peers. I think I’m in the right place. 

Thank you again. Much appreciated. 

6 replies
intuitiveHickory85 February 8th

@Fluffymonster101 Dear Soulful Beauty,


I'm really moved by your sincerity and transparency. I'm appreciative that you found some of the recommendations useful, and I want you to know that your path is valued and recognized.

It's admirable that you looked into several options, and I recognize that advancement may not always be without difficulties. Recall that it's acceptable to not have all the answers right away.

I understand how difficult it may be to lose self-assurance and determination, but the fact that you're hanging onto hope shows how resilient you are. It's a lovely goal to want to feel the same delight and astonishment for everything in the universe.

Even if therapy might not be an option at this time, addressing minor problems and establishing a support system of peers is a big step in the right direction. You're already in a great environment, surrounded by amazing people who are sympathetic to your situation.

Here are some more hints to help you on your daily journey:

1.Gratitude journaling: 

Set aside some time each day to write down your blessings. It might be anything as basic as the sound of birdsong or the warmth of the sun.

2.Connect with Nature:

Get in touch with nature by spending as much time outside as you can. Nature has a special ability to boost the soul and calm the mind.

3.Express Yourself Creatively: 

Take part in artistic endeavors such as writing, sketching, or any other type of self-expression. It could serve as a healing release.

4.Appreciate Little Wins: 

Honor and appreciate even the smallest successes. No matter how tiny, every advance is a success.

Recall that healing is an ongoing process, and taking things one step at a time is acceptable. Because of your innate value, you deserve to have a happy, loving, and healthy life.

I'm sending you strength, love, and a virtual embrace💖

Be kind to yourself💖

5 replies
Fluffymonster101 OP February 9th

@intuitiveHickory85

Thank you 🙏


4 replies
intuitiveHickory85 February 10th

@Fluffymonster101  I  hope you are feeling better !

3 replies
Fluffymonster101 OP February 10th

@intuitiveHickory85

thank you so much. Lately I’ve been so caught up in my hurting, I forget to think about others. And then I start feeling guilty and….yeah. It sucks. But I’m here and hoping things might change. 

I send you hugs and if you’re unwell as well, all the positive vibes

2 replies
intuitiveHickory85 February 10th

Thank you for your kindness!


It's okay to get caught up sometimes. Your self-awareness shows strength.


Sending you warm hugs and positive vibes right back.


Remember, you're not alone, and change is a journey🌟


I'm here for you !!


Take care of yourself ❤️


You're worthy of every best thing life has to offer ❤️

intuitiveHickory85 February 10th

Thank you for your kindness!


It's okay to get caught up sometimes. Your self-awareness shows strength.


Sending you warm hugs and positive vibes right back.


Remember, you're not alone, and change is a journey🌟


I'm here for you !!


Take care of yourself ❤️


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