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Comments on Appearance: Coping

KatieMoon1 May 5th, 2017
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I have a colleague in my office, who nearly every day finds it appropriate to comment on my size/weight/thinness. Last week she approached me and asked me if I was sick. This week she told me I need to eat more. A few days before that a comment about my weight and being cold.

I GET IT. I don't look healthy. Comments are not helping tho. :/

I realize this person may have issues with her own self esteem and weight and so I often ignore her comments. But it's triggering and a bit much now. Ugh. Apart from flat out telling her I have an ED and I'm working towards recovery I'm not sure how to approach this tactfully. How do you deal with this?

Thanks.

6
JamieSclafaniLMSW May 5th, 2017
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@KatieMoon1 Im so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this

KatieMoon1 OP May 6th, 2017
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@Jamie0906

Thanks. It's annoying. I can ignore it for a while but I worry I'm going to get fed up and angry and be rude to her and she really is a nice person - I'd rather not do that. So just working out a way to stop it. I'm not going to gain weight over night. Not while also dealing with a gut disease. Ugh.

beautifulKoala49 May 6th, 2017
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@KatieMoon1 This is something that I've had issues with as well. Since I have gained some weight during my recovery, many of my friends and former high school teachers comment on my weight almost as soon as they see me. It feels really dehumanizing and I agree that it doesn't help.

KatieMoon1 OP May 6th, 2017
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@beautifulKoala49

im afraid one day I'm going to be sick of it and be rude to her. Which I don't want.... :/

May 6th, 2017
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@KatieMoon1

If I were in your shoes and someone constantly talked about my appearance, I'd say, "thank you for your concern but I would rather have you not comment on my appearance. It makes me uncomfortable and self conscious." Any self respecting individual will apologize and then move on. If she continues to comment, I'd probably talk to your boss. Whether she has self esteem issues or not, she has no right to comment excessively about your looks.

I hope this helped, good luck and take care heart

KatieMoon1 OP May 6th, 2017
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@TrueArrow

Yes! Thank you. I'm going to write that down. I will soon have the courage to say something hopefully before I get angry. Ugh.

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