A Place for Tessie & Lex
Hey @Tessie87,
Made this thread, hopefully it won't violate any rules. I think it could be a good idea to also "establish rules", so to speak, between the two of us so we're aware of triggers and such. But I also think it's important to talk about triggers as we can't avoid them all in everyday life. What do you think? Also per 7cups rules, personal contacts aren't allowed and I can't post my L name so I won't do that (I'll just come and get you on my L when I'm ready)
Hi @Lexloveslife
Yes, it's always a good idea to follow the 7cups guidelines, they are there to protect us and keep us safe.
Posts that may have an adverse effect on the reader are marked in the title as **possible trigger**
Lucy2
@Tessie87
Yeah those are the things that I'm sensitive to as well.
I'm not doing well either, also dealing with family stress. I think I'm at a healthy range, I only started recovery a couple months ago and I'm starting to get restless, impatient. Just trying to remind myself that I'm not binge eating. My body is still starving and doesn't trust that I won't starve it again yet, hence all the "over" eating. I'm annoyed because I have to be careful with sugar due to my dental health. Yet my ED also causes a fear of excess sugar, and I have to actively eat sugar in all forms, unrestricted, to recover from that irrational mindset. I'm thinkin about following a meal plan a recovered friend made for me a long time ago since I don't have a dietitian. But then seeing the numbers on the plan freaks me out - almost like I'd rather not track at all if I'm going to recover, just rely on physical cues.
For you, I think it's ok to not lose weight right now because you're recovering from an ED and that should come first before weight loss. I know it's hard to resist the urge. But it may also be possible that "overshoot" is happening and it'll go down over time. Or, maybe this is where your body is meant to be. Aside from ED, why do you feel the need to lose weight? Are you still conforming to what society thinks is attractive/ healthy? And... above a healthy range according to who? BMI is irrelevant when it comes to being "over" weight. People who are muscular demonstrate this. People who are of Asian descent have a lower BMI chart than the rest of us. So really, it's just a set of arbitrary numbers regarding overweight. For underweight it's definitely necessary to follow though.
I've been close to giving up on recovery too. But ED isn't worth it. A lifetime of pain and complications for what? To be thin? To conform with society? Nah! Fight that because beauty standards vary not only over time but across the world. They mean nothing. As for not feeling comfortable in your body, that's a common side of recovery. You don't have to love your body to recover or want to recover. It's about respecting your body which does so much for you.
@Lexloveslife
My post is already long but I want to add this. I don't know what it is like to be in a larger body. My highest weight was the higher end of my "healthy" range and I had problems with binge-eating at that time. I want to apologize in advance if any of my comments come off as ignorant. However, I do want to stress that so many people think they're "fat" or overweight when they are not because they have body dysmorphia. And, no matter how often they're reassured, they won't believe it. So if this sounds like you / you've been diagnosed with this, take your perceptions of your physical self with a huge grain of salt. This could be BDD or ED talking to you, trying to rope you back in. I'm also not a professional. I only know what it's like to think I'm overweight when I'm at a healthy range. And I know what it's like to check weight charts and see one that says I'm overweight and cling to that one even if all the others say I'm "normal".
@Lexloveslife
Hey, I've experienced this and it's really difficult, but I know you can get through this. Stay strong and boss those ed thoughts away. I know you can and stay strong! If you ever need anyone to talk, I'm here for you! 🙂❤️
@Lexloveslife
Adding to this, when someone says "I only ate x today" or "I didn't eat much today" especially if it comes from someone with an ED, that's a trigger for me as well. Makes my competitive side of my ED spring up and start berating me but I'm willing to "be exposed to" that trigger. Different bodies, different needs.
