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  3. ED Community Forum Discussion: Giving and Receiving Support 3/6/20

ED Community Forum Discussion: Giving and Receiving Support 3/6/20
Shanna March 7th, 2020
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Hi all!

Hope this week treated you kindly.

This week's discussion is on Giving and Receiving Support

Please review the forum discussion guidelines here

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Support is essential in coping with, and overcoming an eating disorder. When times are tough, we can have the urge to isolate, which can exacerbate feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness and increase use of eating disorder behaviors--this illness trives in secrecy. We can find it difficult to reach out or ask for support, even if we want or need it. What type of support do we want? What type do we need? How do we ask? As a support / loved one to someone with an eating disorder, it can feel helpless. How do I help? What do they need?

I'd like to open a discussion around support--what it can look like, why it's important.

Some ways to support someone with an eating disorder:
* avoid making comments about their body or what they are or are not eating
* offer to eat meals with them if it's hard for them to eat alone
* go to the grocery store with them
* remind them that you love them no matter what, and that they deserve recovery
* learn about eating disorders and their specific type of eating disorder
* attend support groups and/or therapy sessions with them
* check in on them frequently
* avoid talk of calories, diets, weight, judgements of food (calling foods "good" or "bad")
* avoid moralizing food "I am being bad because I ate ____" "I shouldn't eat _______"
* do not pressure them into situations they are not ready for
* be mindful of making plans / big gatherings around food--if you do, touch base with them to see how they're feeling, if they're comfortable coming, and how to make the eating portion of the plans more manageable
* ask what they want and need, don't assume
* model normalized eating behaviors around them

These are just a few examples, there are SO many ways to give and receive support.

Please join me by sharing your thoughts!

Discussion questions:

1) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that have been helpful for you?

2) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that haven't been helpful?

3) What do you want your supports to know about how to best support you?

4) For supports: What do you find difficult about supporting your loved one?

5) For supports: What types of support have your loved ones asked you for? Were you able to provide it?

6) Why is support important in coping with and recovering from an eating disorder?

7) Any other thoughts on support? Share them here!

Taglist:

@azuladragon34 @Blessedboy @charmingSky1384 @FunkyFlamingo @parisayano @PotatoSoup @Shanna @SharpiePen @Tazzie

To Join our community taglist please visit this thread

To post a check-in this week, please visit this thread

Looking forward to discussing with you all heart

14
cyanPlatypus6370 March 7th, 2020
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Hey is this still going on? ~ Platy

Goldcherry2113 March 7th, 2020
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@Shanna This was a good read, Thank you!

Shanna OP March 8th, 2020
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@Goldcherry2113 of course! Feel free to post any thoughts you have, or responses to the discussion questions if you feel like it heart

Goldcherry2113 March 8th, 2020
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@Shanna I'm not sure how to answer these questions. I never had support I did it on my own. I am helping one of my friends now who is going through it. I do all the things written and just love and support them.

Shanna OP March 8th, 2020
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@Goldcherry2113 sounds like you are a great friend and support! They are lucky to have you. Sorry that you've had to handle things on your own, that's so tough and unfair but I very much so admire your strength

Goldcherry2113 March 8th, 2020
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@Shannan Yeah, But I would be able to help her if I didn't go through what I did. So I can't complain all that much. Thank you for your kind words.

March 8th, 2020
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@Shanna

1) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that have been helpful for you?

I have been supported in person by someone being there for me to comfort me and let me know that I am safe.

2) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that haven't been helpful?

People telling me how to do something that I know is harmful

3) What do you want your supports to know about how to best support you?

To take time to get to know me I may not be the best at communicating but I will eventually get there.

6) Why is support important in coping with and recovering from an eating disorder?

It is important as it takes alot to want to recover and feeling alone and not supported can be really hard

Shanna OP March 8th, 2020
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@SharpiePen

These are great answers - time and patience are so important

March 8th, 2020
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@Shanna Thank you <3

Happy900 March 9th, 2020
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I am a verified listener here at 7cups.

One way to support someone with an Eatting Disorder,is by listening to there problems, and by being there friend.

azuladragon34 March 9th, 2020
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@Shanna

1) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that have been helpful for you?: I haven't been really supported in a helpful way.

2) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that haven't been helpful?: Being compared to other women of my age, continously being told I have no fashion sense and I have to look a certain way for my age, being asked to dress sexy for men.

3) What do you want your supports to know about how to best support you?: Let me do what is best for me

4) For supports: What do you find difficult about supporting your loved one?: N/A

5) For supports: What types of support have your loved ones asked you for? Were you able to provide it?: N/A

6) Why is support important in coping with and recovering from an eating disorder?: People having eating disorders need help, so support in coping and recovering from an eating disorder is important as they have a difficult journey ahead.

7) Any other thoughts on support? Share them here!: N/A

AddictedTealover98 March 9th, 2020
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THis a good read, and unfornately i wont answer the questions.. sorry

Do what you love to do, not what you're supposed to do ~Tea

SammyLouise March 9th, 2020
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1) When I'm struggling to eat something, my boyfriend always eats half of what I'm eating and encourages me to eat the other half. He shows me it's okay to eat.

2) When other people say they are 'fat' or that they eat unhealthy, I try not to, but it's hard not to compare myself.

3) Just be patient :) Don't give up on me.

6) I wouldn't have been able to seek professional help without the support of my loved ones

Blessedboy March 10th, 2020
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1) What are some ways that you've been supported in the past that have been helpful for you?

Being told that I am amazing + not alone. Those words comforted me when i needed them

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