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Bulimia NOT driven by internal fat/self-shaming voices. You too?
WasaBePanda8675 February 3rd, 2019
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I love myself. Truly I do. I'm a 7 day per week practicing yogi. What I eat is high nutritional quality. I nuture myself via meditation and family time and care for others. There is no voice in my head telling me that I'm fat or bad or otherwise so I ought punish mysel by going on a quick binge and then set all of that useful fuel free to the plumbing. I just plain feel comforted after the purge is over, mess cleaned up and I go about my productive business. Yes yes yes...I realize there are other ways to comfort and you can see, above, that I practice some of those. I'm sad to say that some days there's just no substitute for The Purge. I'm strict with teeth maintenance (baking soda and/or himilaya salt water gargle/swish afterward) and my teeth are in relatively good order, nutrient intake (keto, but balanced, nutritional plan plus multi-vitamin), hydration and mineral intake. At worse I purge 2x in a day but usually it's just once. And I did not purge yesterday (hooray!).

So back to I love myself and also like the comfort that the purge brings me. Almost back to a balanced internal calm. Like just another tool like yoga or a nice bath to rejuvenate me and make me a better person to help those around me. But my rational, intelligent self knows that this is NOT normal. Most people do NOT do this. Hard to ween myself off the nasty habit when it makes me feel more level-headed and on-task.

Anyone else have a similar mindset? Have you overcome it and got your B/P managed? Would love your feedback and thank you, in advance.

2
EvilRegalsReadToo February 3rd, 2019
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@WasaBePanda8675 Most people wanna purge after binging that part is normal. But it stops being normal when one actually does it. I can't say much more than; good you know it's not normal and try to overcome it!

I have purged for a short period, but it never came to my liking. I'm more of a 'starving myself' person. But I have purged after binging. It feels really good, sadly. But mostly I can avoid it. I often work out like crazy instead. That's not really healthy either, but it's better than purging, at least for me.

WasaBePanda8675 OP February 3rd, 2019
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@EvilRegalsReadToo thanks for the feedback Evil. Yup...I have a spin bike in my living room. I sit on it while I check emails on my phone or when I watch TV. Helps work out the restlessness. No B/P today (yet). One step at a time! We don't do a big Super Bowl THING so no big food spread to consider. Hoping for a normal rest of the day and a 2 day no B/P streak. Thanks again for the reply.

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