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WasaBePanda8675
481 M Embraced 4
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts45 Forum upvotes43 Current upvotes43 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 9, 2019
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◀ ◀ ◀ Daily yogi ✦ Trying my best ✦ Learning ▶ ▶ ▶
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Bulimia NOT driven by internal fat/self-shaming voices. You too?
Eating Disorder Support / by WasaBePanda8675
Last post
 February 3rd, 2019
...See more I love myself. Truly I do. I'm a 7 day per week practicing yogi. What I eat is high nutritional quality. I nuture myself via meditation and family time and care for others. There is no voice in my head telling me that I'm fat or bad or otherwise so I ought punish mysel by going on a quick binge and then set all of that useful fuel free to the plumbing. I just plain feel comforted after the purge is over, mess cleaned up and I go about my productive business. Yes yes yes...I realize there are other ways to comfort and you can see, above, that I practice some of those. I'm sad to say that some days there's just no substitute for The Purge. I'm strict with teeth maintenance (baking soda and/or himilaya salt water gargle/swish afterward) and my teeth are in relatively good order, nutrient intake (keto, but balanced, nutritional plan plus multi-vitamin), hydration and mineral intake. At worse I purge 2x in a day but usually it's just once. And I did not purge yesterday (hooray!). So back to I love myself and also like the comfort that the purge brings me. Almost back to a balanced internal calm. Like just another tool like yoga or a nice bath to rejuvenate me and make me a better person to help those around me. But my rational, intelligent self knows that this is NOT normal. Most people do NOT do this. Hard to ween myself off the nasty habit when it makes me feel more level-headed and on-task. Anyone else have a similar mindset? Have you overcome it and got your B/P managed? Would love your feedback and thank you, in advance.
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